God Must Really Love Me

Disclaimer: I tried to not to give gross details but this account is not for the squeamish nor the faint of heart.

One week ago I encountered something that tested the very fiber of my faith in God.  To give a backdrop, it started about a month ago.  I was planning for a surgery that I really only wanted a few to know about and to just kind of fly under the radar of anyone knowing I was having surgery.  It was a sense of dignity to keep it to a bare minimum of people to know I was having a hysterectomy.  I remember my Mom having a hysterectomy when I was about Michael's age and she wasn't afraid or embarrassed to talk about it or ask for prayer. I remember feeling so embarrassed  when she'd talk about it that I wanted to crawl under the carpet and hide. I guess now as an adult I still feel that way.  After what happened last week  though I've decided sometimes humiliation is worth the price if it gives you a group of prayer warriors calling on God on your behalf! I've lost that sense of embarrassment, although I don't talk about it in front of my son or certain groups of people.

Earlier in the year I'd had this fantastic dream to take a group of our Bible Quizzers from our church to see the production of Moses at Sight and Sound theater. I knew we would be studying about Moses and I could just see the teaching material I could use based on such an incredible experience! Andee Hansen our children's director/pastor was totally on board with it and in fact if it weren't for all her organizational skills and planning, this trip would not have been a reality!  I've told her numerous times that I owe her BIG time!

The date we picked way back when was Aug.8th.  This was way before I knew about my surgery and where I'd be in the recovery process.  I had exactly 2 weeks to recover before taking this trip.  Others I'd talked to told me they recovered pretty quickly from this robotic type of hysterectomy and I was confident everything would be good.  I never really  felt 100% but I felt good enough to take the trip to Lancaster, PA.

The trip down was un eventful which in retrospect could have turned out totally different had I had any of the complications I had upon arrival!  Note #1 of God's provision!  I talked to Jaymie Schwartz one of the Mom's traveling with two of her kids on the trip.  I told her my Dad  who lived an hour and a half away in Md. was at an earlier showing and that I probably wouldn't see him.  She asked why he went to the earlier show and not the one we were going to be at? I didn't really have an answer other than we didn't know all the details when we were planning and I had told my Dad I really wouldn't be able to visit much because I'd be with a group of kids. So he planned to go to the earlier show.  God's provision #2.

My husband had been down in Va. on business but made arrangements to drive up with my Dad and meet up with us, see the show and help with the drive home. God's provision #3.

When we arrived at Sight and Sound the parking lot attendants had John Earnhardt, our bus driver, to park the church bus right at the curb of the facility.  I mean the parking lot at this place is huge!  How 'd our little church bus get the privilege of parking right at the curb?  God's provision #4!

We exited the bus, my Dad had waited around  (provision #5) to see his grandson and his baby girl. :). Even if it was only for five minutes, we exchanged hugs and I introduced   My Dad to our pastor and his wife,  Chad and Kimberly Current.

We said our good byes and I had our tickets in hand. Finally, getting to see this long awaited dream become a reality!! Then I felt something that I knew wasn't right. In my most composed self I handed our tickets to Kimberly and told her to give them to Steve and that I needed to use the restroom.

Upon arrival to the restroom, I knew this was serious. Somehow, I had enough frame of mind to call my Dad and let him know I needed to get to an Emergency room.  He was still exiting the S&S parking lot. He told me it might take a while because he was in a back up.  Later he told me, he decided to hold his arm out the window to motion for incoming traffic to wait and he did a U turn.  He said no one contested him, people were gracious and let him make that U turn. Provision #6

I was able to exit the facility and make it to Dad's vehicle with dignity.  ( I don't care what you say, I call this provision #7!).  While loading dad's vehicle, John was able to let Michael get our stuff out of the bus.  Andee was on the scene at that point and she came over to give me a hug and prayed for me.  She prayed such a powerful prayer I felt God was there loving me through a friends concern.#8

Steve had his phone set to GPS mode to get us to the closest hospital in Lancaster.  Which I will say Siri failed! But he was able to access GPS with google maps and through some round about detouring we made it to Lancaster General Hospial.  Upon arriving Steve was able to access a wheelchair to take me in.  A dignity saver in front of my son and people in the waiting room.

I confess when we entered LGH, I though this rinky dink hospital will not be able to meet my needs.  I was wrong.  I did have to sit for maybe 15 min.?  At some point a nurse wheeled me into the public restroom to help me.  I will not go into detail other than to say, my dress I'd been wearing was way beyond salvageable.  Steve said she came running out and declared no one was to go in there till housekeeping got in to clean.  I was never so frightened in my life! My BP  after that was elevated and the receiving nurse said when there's a lot of blood loss BP can drop, so she said we'll take elevated BP.  But while experiencing that blood loss I told the nurse I was afraid for her to leave me that I thought I might pass out.  She assured me she would only be gone a min and would bring me some clothes to wear.  She kept her word and remained with me, calming me with her kindness and reassurance that they were going to help me. (Provision ? I'm tearing up remembering how kind she was when I was so frightened). I just want to say I have a new respect for doctors and nurses who are God's hands and feet!  Again I felt God's love, though this time through a stranger.

When they finally had a triage room opened a nurse named Lindsey wheeled me in. A doctor came in and assessed the situation. He ordered a Catscan. Going in for the Catscan they wheeled my stretcher up to the table and asked me to scoot to the table.  I was afraid to move for fear of more blood exiting my body as I was already in a pool of blood.  They had to put a board under me and hoist  me onto the table for the test. As I waited for the machine to do its thing, I stared at a spot on the ceiling and recalled these words,"tis so sweet to trust in Jesus Just to take Him at His word, just in simple faith relying. ...Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him how I've proved Him ore and ore."  I felt God whisper in my ear, you're going to be ok.

After the Catscan, I returned to the triage room.  I felt some extreme pain and reached down to figure out what was happening.  It was so intense I begged Steve to get the doctor.  It felt like an internal organ was exiting my body and I was not about to remain calm!  Apparently it was an enormous blood clot. The doctor tried to examine me and he told me they were sending me to Women's and Babies hospital. He reassured me it was an excellent facility, part of LGH and they would take good care of me.  At that point Lindsey the nurse came in with morphine and something to settle my stomach through the I.V. Maybe this is a small thing, but I get sick to my stomach at the drop of a hat and I was ever so grateful she didn't just give me morphine. Provision #?  Also her concern and compassion was a  huge comfort Provision#?!

Before the ambulance arrived I asked Steve to put the song Take Another Step, by Steven Curtis Chapman on continuous play on my iPod.  Steve was like you don't need to be taking any steps right now!  I explained that I needed it for the mental will to get through all of this.  Having an IPod that still worked after using it for most of a 5 1/2 ride was indeed a blessing. I listened to that song and others during transport to Women's and Babies.  Upon arrival they wheeled me in on stretcher and that made me nervous. Then as I entered the room and Harriet, the nurse introduced herself, I started to feel hot all over.  I told the nurse and she said I was going to be ok, to take deep breaths in through the nose and slowly release through the mouth.  I tried but I was getting more panicky by the moment. I told her I felt tingly in my hands and feet.  She explained I was hyperventilating. And that I needed to continue the deep breaths.  Provision#? So with every ounce of strength that I had in me I dedicated myself to breath!  I did not want to pass out! I listened to my SCC music and trusted God and took another step!

One final bleeding episode occurred and I just tried to hold the blood in.  The nurse told me I needed to let it go.  They would not be able to access my needs if I didn't.  In fear and breathing deep I let go. They witnessed what was happening. Now, this hospital saw what had been going on.

Emergency surgery took place some time around 9:30 which was just enough time from when we'd eaten lunch that they did not have to put a tube down my throat. Provision#? My husband told the anesthesiologist I get anxious when coming out of anesthesia and that I get nauseated too. Provision again! I remember the operating room and for the third time I had to scoot to another table I forgot the X-ray at W&B but that was another scoot ordeal if you will.  By this time I let go of my fear and was able to scoot onto the operating table.


The next thing I remember a nurse named Sherri walking me through every thing step by step as I was waking up.  I felt peace knowing someone was walking me through this!  She let me sleep on my side with the most comfortable cushions for support. I hadn't been able to sleep on my side for weeks!   Steve said this time coming out of anesthesia I was smiling.  I know God had an army of prayer warriors praying on our behalf.  I know He answered those prayers!!

The next morning, the doctor on the floor told me my hemoglobin was at 12 & 1/2 which was as good as anyone walking in off the street!  No blood transfusion, no explanation other than God touched me!!!

My husband stood by my side through all of this.  He was proactive in getting me the medical help I needed.  My Dad was able to take Michael home for the night!  Steve took the initiative to plan a day of rest in Harrisburg before attempting the trip home.  My sister in law provided clothes from her own closet for me to go home in.  I could go on and on.  When I got home my small group from church has cooked for me, taken me to appointments and my Mother in law, dog sat our Dog named Dusty not to mention the times she came over and cleaned my kitchen or took me to an appointment.  The list of good things far outweighs the horrible that happened.  Andee was able to get our tickets upgraded to a weekend viewing of Moses in September! Simply & Honestly, God must really love me!!!!