As a side note, there was a time when Michael was in first grade and he'd get distracted at school. It seemed he was ending up in the principals office every day. I'd been talking to him at home about what was going on, and felt he was trying but he was having difficulty. I've taught enough kids to read and I knew he was smart, but I did notice his reading did not take off as I'd expected.
Finally I got a double edged idea! I laid down the law. I let him know he would get the spanking of his life if he got in trouble and ended up in the principals office! Now to make the stakes the highest I could I promised him if he succeeded at not ending up in the principals office I'd do something great, we'd go to Chuck E Cheese or something of that caliber. Well I hate to report but he DID end up in the principals office for not following through and doing his seat work. So, true to my word I pulled out the belt. As I was getting ready to make the first swat, he cries and says, "Mommy, you're the only one who understands me, you and Jesus!" Well that kind of broke this Mommy's heart! I did end up going to bat for my son with his teacher, and we began to look into what the reasons were as to why he was having such a difficult time sitting and following through on seat work ect. We did find out a year and a half later that in addition to vision problems that he was diagnosed with ADHD.
Now back to 13 almost 14. We've had this struggle lately and the other night I was exasperated, frustrated and to the point of tears. It started hitting me, that my little boy is growing up and wanting space AWAY from his Mom. That hurt!! I prayed for God to help us figure out what to do! How do I handle this? Time to pull out some psychology books or child rearing books or something! What happened next, I believe was God's answer to my brief prayers of help me figure this out Lord! Finally at bed time, Michael exclaims," I feel like you're babying me!". In response to this I told him, "I feel like you're not respecting me!". Then it hit me, we can build on this now that we've both expressed what we're feeling. So before we turned out the lights and said good night, we shook on a plan to point out to the other when we're doing it again. And we agreed to make the needed adjustments. Since that night, things have been smoother! It's only been four days since then, but at least we understand each other!
This Tues Oct. 7, 2014 marks the 8th anniversary of my Mother's death. There's so much I could say here, but I will try to convey how remarkable my Mom was and how I'm striving to be the kind of Mom she was! I turned out largely due to her consistent example and I don't think my brother nor I turned out all that bad! She was a level headed parent. She was not too lenient, nor was she such a stickler for rules that we couldn't wait to break away. She loved God and lived to give of her time talents and energy for God and His kingdom. That was not just something she did as a front when we were in church. She lived it at home. Teaching us to pray, living how to give, leading by example. I remember a time she shared her love for God's Word when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. She would read her Bible before going into work and facing the world. She shared in church about how Moses talked to God face to face and just shared her renewed love for God's Word. She'd listen to the song More Than Wonderful by Sandi Patti and Laranel Harris, which talks of God being a Counselor and of God's love for His children. To this day that passage of Scripture in Exodus is so special to me as is that song.
As I am reading a book by Dr. Kevin Leman called Have A New You By Friday, I'm realizing that my parenting skills will greatly affect how my son will face the challenges of life, work and responsibility. I'm striving by God's grace to be the kind of parent who is neither too lenient nor too strict! Simply and Honestly when we follow God's plan for parenting and we live it out in front of our kids, who see us even in the dark, who listen when we don't even realize they're listening, we are laying the groundwork for how they will respond to life and to God's design for their lives!
These are just some thoughts going through my mind as I think of this point in Motherhood as I reflect on my Mom whom God healed when He took her home. Sometimes life is hard, but I'm so thankful that even on the rough days God is there with us in the middle of the pain or the hardship. God never leaves and He's waiting for us to call on Him. I'm learning to do that more and more these days! God IS more than wonderful!!
