Third Times the Charm?

This morning as I sat down and was getting ready to have my devotions these words came to mind,

 "...through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come;
"Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home. ..."

Life has a way of having it's twists and turns.  Sometimes things are going so smoothly that I forget to ask God for His help on any given situation or need.  Then, bam, right in my face, is a situation that is totally out of my control and all I can do is cry out to God for help!

The last month of summer for this year has been a concentrated form of, right in your face situations that all I could do is simply ask God to help me!  I know I've already written of two horrific episodes when I really thought I was fighting for my life.  For whatever reasons, God brought yet a third situation during this concentrated learn to lean on God time in my life! So the following  is the third situation which takes on a new twist!

Once again in looking back I see so many pieces of the puzzle that point to God's intervention in my life!  For starters, because of the hemorrhaging problems that sent me into the ER twice and into emergency surgery twice, my husband was fearful of leaving me alone.  He did need to be out of town on business and made arrangements for my Mother in Law to stay with me.  She had an appointment and would be gone during the day, Michael was in school, but Heather, a friend from church offered to come over and help with anything that she could!

We visited quite a bit and she did help with some housework.  But I remember her telling me, you've got to be aggressive in dealing with the doctors and medical personnel.  Ask questions, document and follow up.  Throughout that day I kept having pain in my chest.  I thought it was probably related to anxiety and just put the thought from my mind that it could possibly be anything else.

Heather left around 2pm and I remember having that pain come back, more intense this time.  I decided to be aggressive after getting the pep talk from Heather.  So I called my family doctor and asked to speak with a nurse!  The nurse told me to take my blood pressure while she was on the phone with me and so I did. It was: 167/110!  She told me to go to the emergency room that she did not even need to ask the doctor what I should do, but to just go!

As God would arrange it, my Mother in Law got home while I was still on the phone with the nurse. And so, she was able to drive me right to the ER!  Michael was able to go to his friend's house thanks to his friend's mom, Amy being aware of my situation said anytime I needed help to let her know!  See here again- God's provisions, Heather prompting me, my Mother in laws timely return, my friend being able to care for my son!

This time in the ER I was not bleeding to death!  I was apprehensive, but nothing like the other two times.  Immediately when I told them my BP was elevated and I was having chest pains they took me back! They ran an EKG so fast on me. At the time the EKG didn't show anything and so they arranged for me to have a cat scan of my chest.  The ER doctor said it was a precautionary measure to rule out any blood clot to the lungs.  I said it's probably just anxiety. my thinking was, after having 3 surgeries in less than a month's time, my body is suffering from that trauma. The ER doctor told me that right at that time there was a man in surgery because he thought it was just anxiety and they had found a clot on the lungs.  So he assured me that they were going to be thorough and check everything out due to the recent surgeries.

That is when I started to get a little nervous. But still thinking it would be treatable and I'd be home that evening.  WRONG!  After waiting the ER doctor came back and explained that they did indeed find a clot on my lungs. (Time to panic! No!  Hold on to God!)  Will this mean another surgery?  I need to get a text or call in to Steve!  He is not going to believe this! Texting didn't go through.  How do I get a message through to him!

My Mother in law was able to call him out in the waiting room/ lobby area. The next thing I remember, another one of the surgeons that was familiar with my case came in and asked me if I'd ever had any problems with my Aorta? To which I was thinking oh this is just another one of many questions they are going to pepper me with.  No!  Never had to worry about that!  I'm thinking, glad that was an easy one to answer! She then replied that I do now.  She said they'd found an aneurysm on my aorta.  That was it, I started to cry. She said I am so sorry, it seems like all I have to tell you is bad news. She left me to  myself, as my mother in law was out in the lobby.  I just laid there crying and asking God if I was falling apart and going to die.  I mean how often do you hear cause of death, aneurysm or blood clot to the lungs?  And here I have both!

A nurse was able to locate my MIL and she joined me as doctors began to talk about my situation and ask questions about what I'd already been through.  I remember the Ob/Gyn on call saw I was emotional and held my hand as a gesture of comfort as we discussed my case.  He then told me I was between a rock in a hard place and that my situation was a rare one!  Because of the previous surgeries in my abdomen if they put me on blood thinners to treat the clot it would leave me vulnerable to internal bleeding. But, if they did not deal with the clot to my lungs (with blood thinners) then more clots could develop and that would be dangerous!  As my husband says, "You don't want a medical phenomena named after you".

They called a Hematologist to my case and admitted me to the hospital- the 6th floor, same floor as before!  I already knew the nurses and actually looked for the ones I knew!  Some comfort, for a very confusing, emotional night!  During the time of diagnosis, I figured out a way to instant message my pastor and his wife through the wi-fi at the hospital and notified them that I was being admitted to the hospital.  The nurses wheeled me up to the 6th floor and I wasn't in my room more than 5 minutes when in walks Pastor Chad!  He said with confidence that he's see God shrink tumors and heal!  This was the confidence I needed at that very time!  His prayer of faith in a God who is able to do so much more than I can begin to wrap my mind around was contagious!  And if anything's contagious in the hospital, you want it to be FAITH!!

I was admitted to Aultman Hospital on Tuesday evening August 19th.  My husband drove through the night from Va. to be at the hospital with me the next morning.  He barely got home and showered and was there by my side! The days there are kind of a blur. I can remember having good days and bad days.  I would be crying and Steve would somehow get me to go from crying to laughing while I still had tears forming in my eyes!  (How'd he do that?)

I remember one evening at supper time, Steve wasn't able to get there with Michael for a little while yet as the lawn was being mowed.  So I sat there with my supper tray and began to feel like I was never going to get better. Scared and lonely and sad. Right then at that very moment Julie Hickman called me.  She was a volunteer who worked with me all last year in Bible Quizzing.  Towards the end of the quizzing year I found out she is a Christian counselor.  Her timing couldn't have been more of a God thing!  She was able to help me to see how much God was taking care of me and advised me to not be afraid to let my son see me living out my faith.  Not to hide or try to protect him from this trauma.  By the end of our phone call, I knew God's love was there with me and I didn't feel alone anymore!  God sent Julie to counsel me and help me lift my eyes above the situation and to look to the Healer, Counselor, and Friend who loves me more than I can begin to know!!

I wrote about one night in particular when I was anxious after moving to a different room and how God took care of that, this is what I shared on Facebook.:
"Last night, as I was waiting for a final blood draw so I could go to sleep it began again. Fear. I turned out the lights and the machinery behind my hospital bed was like a very bright night light beaming down. It started as what if I can't get to sleep because of this bright light, and escalated from there. 

..The next fear was being alone. Then fear of this and that. Then I realized it was Wednesday and the last two Thrs in a row I'd hemorrhaged. Tomorrow is Thursday I thought!

I started feeling hot all over. My stomached was nauseated. I felt a tightness constrict my body and it was hard to just breathe. At that point the nurse for the blood draw walked in. She was very kind as I explained I was having some anxiety issues and asked her to come back in 5min. She very kindly and graciously agreed to my terms.

All I could pray was God please help! Then called for my nurse. I explained to her about the last 2 Thrs . She was so compassionate and understanding. She got me to breathe again and put cool cloths around my neck. She got me the meds I needed and She assured me they were keeping a close eye on me. I'm not sure but I think she's solely assigned to me, because any need I have she's here in like under a min. I told her she was spoiling me when I first got moved to this room!

Someway, somehow, my body relaxed from the tension and I could breathe normal. I was able to think of all the prayers going up in my behalf. Prayers for complete healing. I rested in that thought that God was able to heal that artery inside of me that had been bleeding.

I tell you all of this because right now more than ever I am walking a faith walk. There are valleys of fear, but didn't David say, ...even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death you are with me?. God is! He is with me every step of the way. He's using the compassion and concern of a nurse, or a friends prayer or even in the medicines I'm taking. He is with me as the doctors try to figure me out. He is with me in a husband who drives all night so he can be by his wife's side."

Today is Sept.12th, nearly a month out from the frightening night when I learned I have a blood clot on my lungs and an aneurysm on my aorta!  As a side note this past Wed. as it was time to leave for church on my phone chirps this Tornado warning for our county!  My son is like, I'm not going out in this!  And we did hear of one touching down in an area west of our town, just as we were leaving the house.  I told Michael, look, God's going to take care of us!  I thought I was going to die 3 times in the last month, if He took care of me then, He will take care of us now!  Come on, we're going to church!!  Mind you I was using caution and keeping an eye on the radar and on the sky!  We were good, God kept us safe yet again!

So, yes, though many dangers, toils and snares I have already come!
But thank God for his Grace that will lead me home!  My faith may be
small and it may quiver in the wind but my faith is in the God Who created
all. The God Who knows our innermost being.  He never slumbers nor sleeps.
He is my hiding place in the storms of life.  "My shield is God most high, Who saves
the upright in heart." Psalm 7:10

And if our God is for then what could stand against us?

What Is My Lesson In All of This?

    Like so many things in life I hope to learn my lessons the easy way.  But of course I can't always pick the lessons I learn or even if they will be easy lessons or difficult lessons.  I am given the reassurance that God can turn the bad things  into something different and something good.  The popular verse Rom8:28 comes to mind right about now. " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  I don't think this verse means that God only allows good things to happen to us, but that He is capable of taking everything, good and bad and to make something good come out of it.  I heard Joyce Meyer recently talking about when Jesus waited to come to Lazarus' aid and in the mean time he died.  She mentioned that we often question why God allowed such and such to happen.  And that often it isn't even about us.  God may be allowing the situation to happen so that some time down the road we can use that experience to be of help to someone else.

As a dear friend and I were talking, she mentioned that it will be so amazing when we get to Heaven and we see all the pieces that God put together in our lives here on Earth.  Things we didn't even recognize while here will be revealed there.

So as I'm sifting through the pieces of the puzzle to the events that happened in my life in the last month I'm trying to figure out, "What is my lesson in all of this?".  I'm thinking there's several lessons to be learned.  So here goes the list!

The first lesson that comes to mind are all the many times God showed Himself to be real and active in my life!  Which I know I referenced in my last Blog entitled, God Must Really Love Me.  I wrote about the many ways God took care of me in a bad situation that could have been extremely worse than it was!

As some of you may know one week later to the day, on Thrs. Aug.14th/ actually it happened at 12:30a.m on Friday, but in my mind it still felt like Thursday. I had another hemorraging and was taken by ambulance to the local ER at Aultman Hospital.  Thankfully my husband was still in town! This particular incident was every bit as scary as the first that happened in Lancaster, PA.  I was calmer at first because I knew God had taken care of me the last time.  On the ambulance ride in, I kept reciting Ps. 46:1 "God is our refuge a very present help in time of need.".  Thankful that God gave me that verse right when I needed it!

Upon arrival to the ER, a young nurse named Katie assessed the needs and got an ER doctor in to see me. Steve drove in, so when he arrived she was helping me.  Which I think he was exposed to more than what he saw last time. It's kind of a blur in my mind.  I just remember the hemorrhaging and feeling the need to tell Steve I loved him.  He said I said it over and over again and then he said it looked like I was having a seizure.  I remember telling him I love you several times and the pain getting so bad that I couldn't stand it anymore and suddenly everything felt calm, no pain, no anxiety, just peace.  At that moment Steve says he was fearful that he was going to lose me.  The nurse got the ER doctor and he said I had just passed out.  It was brief, only for a few seconds, but the reprieve in the pain and mental anguish was enough to help me get through the hurdle. Another God sighting, even in the midst of pain He allowed me to pass out to give me that reprieve.

The ER doctor notified the Ob/gyn that was on call that I needed emergency surgery.  Now at this point I'd already had two major surgeries, one on July 23 rd a robotic hysterectomy and on Aug 7th the same surgery they were going to do again. Check to make sure no damage in the healing process from the hysterectomy and send a scope in through incision to see where the internal bleeding was occurring. So this was becoming old hat, talking to an anesthesiologist, getting a shower cap put on my head, meeting a surgical team. This time I was scared because I'd had a snack around 9:30 p.m. And I knew they'd need to put that pipe down my throat.  But I knew I'd be out.  Incidently this was around 2:30a.m. And Steve posted on Facebook about this emergency surgery.  Two people were up at that time and saw the post and said they were praying, Mike Gardner and Rose Medley. Thank you to both of you and anyone else out there that was praying!  All I know is I felt I was at the mercy of God, the surgeons and those holding me up to God in prayer!

So, the next morning as I was coming to, my doctor who performed the hysterectomy made his rounds. They still couldn't find where I was bleeding and couldn't guarantee it wouldn't happen again!  That was not reassuring!  And this time my blood count was 6.9. Which meant I'd need a transfusion of 2 pints of blood.

Still in the hospital on Friday for observation and to run tests.  No guarantees, just needs.  I cried out to God to help me. He gave me an awesome nurse named Melissa.  She and I bonded if that is possible. She took the time to be a friend.  She administered the transfusions and allotted extra time to ensure that I didn't have any reactions. No reactions to the blood transfusions praise God! She also had a newspaper delivery background and hit it off with Steve.  We laughed and shared stories and that was such a bright spot!  The next morning was Saturday, and I woke up with a migraine.  The nice thing about being in the hospital is you can take some pretty strong pain killer and anti nausea medicine and you're better in no time!  Little things and big things, God is good!!

This time I was released on Sunday morning to come home.  Shew I'd made it! Still no guarantees of future bleeding.  They did have a game plan in place if the hemorrhaging started again, to rush right into surgery to find the artery that was bleeding, while it was happening.  The human side of me sees this as no guarantees, but the hope in me from God sees there were people all over the place praying for me, sharing my need with their churches.  I have no idea how many people were praying but I'm sure it was in the hundreds.  All I can say, is God is indeed One Who hears and answers prayer!!

I am now 6 weeks out from the original hysterectomy, which they did say that's when complete healing would occur and there would be no more chances of the hemorrhaging happening again!!  I only just realized that on Wed evening before heading out the door to teach my first lesson in Word Warriors to our church kids!  I was ready to have a celebration at that point!!

You know something, when I was in the hospital one of the things that I was thinking about was the logistics of how to get my lessons together for Word Warriors!  It gave me yet another to fight the good fight!  I remember my Mom teaching me that when you're sick and it's easy to focus on self, to find a ministry to give to. And that in return there is a blessing!  Her legacy lives on!  Wed night I was so blessed to see a group of kids excited to learn God's Word and having fun!  God is so good!!!