God Knows What You Need

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭10-12‬ KJV)

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;).          II Corinthians 10:4  (KJV)

I memorized the above scriptures when I was growing up, in the King James Version.  At the time that was pretty much the  only version of choice.  And these particular passages are fairly cut and dried and easy to understand in the old English version. I honestly struggle reading scripture or anything for that matter, in old English.  I struggle to fully comprehend what it's saying, let alone apply it to my life!

So here's what I get from the passages I shared. 1. That God gives us what we need to fight the enemy of our souls.  The things needed are found in God and in His Word.  2. That when life seems like an uphill struggle and it feels like everything is against you, that in reality we are fighting in a spiritual battle against the devil and his demons. But God gives us the weapons and the power to fight against the dark side and it's not something we can drum up on our own. It comes from Him.

To apply that truth, here's what it means when the rubber meets the road:
One week ago today, early in the morning I recieved one of those phone calls that are forever etched in your memory.  On the other end was my Mother in law, Helen.  She was sobbing and she said that Scott ( Steve's brother) had died in the night! What do you even say when someone you love is so broken hearted they cannot be comforted with words?  All I could think to do was to run to her side
and be with her.  As soon as Michael boarded the bus, I was throwing things together and in my car on my way, to try and be a comfort to her.

It has been a turbulent week.  Being there for Helen.  Changing big plans Steve and I had for getting away, dealing with raw emotions, and in the grieving process, old wounds of my own grief  revisited me. Not to mention trying to function as a single parent while Steve was out of town.

All of this  weighed on me.  Some days I was fine and other days, not so much! I know there is power in prayer and I have felt that power and that peace.  But can I be really honest with you?  It has been a struggle, the uphill kind, if you know what I mean. And yesterday I gave in to the feelings of wanting to escape the grief.  I was so tired, all I wanted to do was sleep and sleep.  I didn't want to see anyone, talk to anyone or deal with anything. I just wanted to sleep! And so I did!  Finally, as I was coming to, I began to feel a tugging on my heart to rise up! Take one foot and put it in front of the other.  To
at least function enough to be able to meet the most basic of needs for my family.  I struggled for a bit
and prayed for God to give me the will and the strength to get up and face the day.

God did answer that prayer.  Little by little, one foot in front of the other, throwing feelings aside, I got up and got things done.  Kitchen cleaned, laundry washed, dried and hung in time for Steve to take with him on his business trip.  It honestly wasn't a stellar day of completing a huge to do list!  The victory was in getting out of the pit and finding a way to give to my family. I could not have done this had God not tugged at my heart and given me the grace to do this small thing.

After we had an early supper, I dropped Steve off at the airport and I ran to a couple of stores to pick up some grocery items we needed.  As I was entering Wal-Mart (yes, I am unashamedly a regular Wal-Mart customer - don't judge me - you get more bang for your buck there).  :). I saw a friend of mine from church, Karen Morrish.  Interestingly enough, Karen and I have a lot in common with our families, our husbands travel, work schedules etc.  Her son (an only- like my Michael) is in college, my son is in middle school, so she and her family have a few years on us. And Karen with her more
mature wisdom reached out to me.   What can I say, I was a bag full of mixed emotions. She said she could see it in my eyes.

I basically told her about my brother in law passing away and she was totally sympathetic and caring, almost as if she were being Gods compassion, reaching out to me! We talked about our sons and I was able to ask her for guidance on things I'm dealing with as a mother of a teenage son whose spreading his wings.  She reassured me that the teaching we are putting into him, will come back.  That gave me hope!  This dear sweet lady comforted me another time when I'd had a miscarriage, God seems to allow our paths to intersect, though unplanned from a human standpoint, but an appointment arranged none the less by an all knowing God, Who cares and showers His love through people with servant hearts, like Karen!  She reassured me that she'd be praying for us as we attend the memorial service this Sat. and that she'd be praying especially for Michael! Simply and honestly God really does know what we need, and not just sometimes!  He is so good. He showers His live in the prayers of people who care, he brings people across our path at just the right time and so much more!

The following passage of Scripture just kind of describes this past year of my life.  Yet through it all, by Gods grace we can walk with our heads held high... Well you'll see what I mean.

"We don’t want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation—I don’t want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God’s deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part.

Now that the worst is over, we’re pleased we can report that we’ve come out of this with conscience and faith intact, and can face the world—and even more importantly, face you with our heads held high. But it wasn’t by any fancy footwork on our part. It was God who kept us focused on him, uncompromised. Don’t try to read between the lines or look for hidden meanings in this letter. We’re writing plain, unembellished truth, hoping that you’ll now see the whole picture as well as you’ve seen some of the details. We want you to be as proud of us as we are of you when we stand together before our Master Jesus.

 (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1‬:‭8-14‬ MSG)

An Offering From the Heart

 Saturday, March 7, 2015, as the Children I teach on Wednesday nights were getting ready to take a competitive quiz known in the Church of the Nazarene as Children's Bible Quizzing, I shared some motivational words with them.  "Failure isn't when you make a mistake.  It's when you give up after you've made a mistake.  So, if you do make a mistake, don't give up!  Don't even think about the mistake, just keep on trying and do your best!  God is with you, you've studied hard to get to this point, now rest in the fact that you are well prepared!"

Four years ago as I was teaching 4-6 yr. olds on Wednesday nights, it felt like the time, energy and effort I'd put into teaching was so behind the scenes.  No one except the kids in my immediate care and two other workers were aware that I loved these children and wanted to, was passionate, to pass onto the next generation God's Word.  It was a hidden work, but I knew it was an eternal investment! (I realize, these were just feelings and feelings are often, not an accurate picture of reality.) from time to time God would bless me with feedback from parents letting me know their child remembered  the things I'd taught.  If you attend Canton First Church of the Nazarene just ask any 8-10 year old that was attending during that time about The Fruit of the Spirit!  We had 9 months of school and there are 9 Fruit of the Spirit so it worked out perfectly!  We had a lot of fun singing our Fruit if the Spirit song and learning about Love, joy, peace. . .

During that time the leaders of our Children's Bible Quizzing had stepped down and somehow my husband and I were approached about leading CBQ.  I turned it down initially.  Steve on the other hand, was like if we don't step in, this ministry will die. For the sake of our son neither of us wanted to see this program come to an end in our church.  For the sake of your own flesh and blood it is amazing the great lengths you will go to as a parent!  I was not teaching my own son on Wed. Nights, but wanted him to be grounded in the Word of God, none the less!  So for the sake of our own next generation, Steve roped me into teaching CBQ  with him on Sunday afternoons!

Now I confess, if what I was doing on Wed nights felt behind the scenes, this was an even greater step behind the scenes.  And I do want to say, the service I do, is my offering to God.  I'm not in it for any recognition, but it is nice to know  from time to time that what you're doing is sinking in!  Steve had either 2 or 3 Blue level quizzers and I had 2 Red level quizzers.  I'm just thankful for those two Red Level quizzers because they were a part of keeping CBQ alive in our church!  Honestly, I let the numbers get to me, only two!  And it was all new to me.  I'd never taken part in anything like this or taught it, so it was all new territory really, for both of us!  Today, looking back, I feel that I didn't give 100% (I'm sad to admit that). The first two years were like that!

But then something happened in the 3rd year. Andee Hanson, took over  as the Children's director at CFNaz.  She was meticulous in doing what was needed to help this ministry blossom.  Things like placing people where they could best serve and countless of details that I as a teacher miss! As she and I talked we compared notes and felt some changes were needed for CBQ.  We changed the time slot to Wed. nights and began a campaigning process to get more children involved.  That Fall we had 9 kids sign up for Quizzing!  That was exciting to go from 2 to 9! We also recruited some more workers and that year we had 3 of us workers and one parent.  All of them were an immediate blessing and a help in leading and sharing responsibilities! Then she was able to get us into a room that was equipped so that we could use a large screen TV that I could hook my laptop up to and incorporate power point! That was a game changer for me as a teacher!  Andee I can't THANK you enough for how you've helped to craft this ministry into what it is today!!

At the time our church was seeking to find a new pastor.  By Jan of 2014 Pastor Chad Current became our Pastor at CFNaz. As a side note, we as a church have been blessed to have a pastor whose heart and passion is to seek the Lord and lead our church through some changes to help us be more effective to reach out of the four walls of the church and answer the call of the Great Commission that Jesus gave! Thank You Pastor Chad for being obedient!!  To my amazement both Chad and his wife Kimberly, were passionate about CBQ. So much so, that their own daughter, Anna, finished up the quizzing year with us, though she competed with her original church that she'd spent the majority of time studying with. (I think that was a wise decision on the part of her parents!) And Kimberly immediately stepped in and offered to help in any way she could! Wow, talk about feeling appreciated! That was HUGE, to have that kind of support!  Thank you Kimberly for being my right hand and a dear friend!!

This past year of Word Warriors - a name change that Andee helped to put in place, has been the best year yet, and is the beginning of something new and wonderful!  Something that had almost died has been revived and new life has come!  On Saturday our Word Warriors  went to  the zone quiz meet, our first quiz meet for the year.  We had 20 children attend and 15 of them will be moving on to the District Quiz meet at the end of March! It's honestly not about the numbers and how many move on ect. It is all about seeing a group of kids and their parents as well as a team of 9 of us leaders join together and teach the next generation that God is a compassionate and gracious God, (loving and kind- sounds an awful lot like the Fruit of the Spirit)! It is all about being faithful and not giving up.  It is about seeing prayers answered and it is about passing on, to the next generation the Word of God which will equip them to face a world that is turning away from God.  It is also about being united as the body of Christ and that unity is something that God can flow through and use beyond our wildest dreams!

Simply and Honestly I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be used for such a time as this! I marvel that He can use someone like me, but if He's willing to use me, then here I am Lord send me. Whether behind the scenes or known to all, what matters most is that God sees and He remembers the things we've given  to Him! He in turn blesses and multiplies our efforts. Pretty amazing what God can do with a cracked vessel! This past year I have been blessed personally with the 8 workers that I believe God handpicked to be here!  Each of them brings their gifts to the table and gives to these precious children and in turn it is being given to God!  One tid bit from this years study of the book of Exodus, when Moses was following God's directions on how to build the wilderness Tabernacle, each person who felt compelled were to give an offering from their heart.  That is how I feel this tremendous group of workers have given to these children and to God.  God is doing great things in the hearts of these children and in our hearts as His servants!  What an honor to be a part of this ministry!

Exodus 25:1-2 "The LORD said to Moses, 'Tell the Israelites to bring me an offering. You are to receive the offering for me from everyone whose heart prompts them to give.'" The commentary offered in the leaders manual has this to say: "The Lord wanted His people to do certain things, but He wanted them to act willingly too.  He welcomes the unique responses of individuals.  Willing obedience forms godly character."