Don't Forget!

Today as I open up my Bible Ap and read God's Word to me I read in Dueteronnomy about God's children the Israelites.  God is giving them instructions on how they are to seek God and to follow His commands.  They are instructed to not forget that God is the One Who allowed them the privilege and blessing of living in a land flowing with milk and honey.

“The LORD your God will soon bring you into the land he swore to give you when he made a vow to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. It is a land with large, prosperous cities that you did not build. The houses will be richly stocked with goods you did not produce. You will draw water from cisterns you did not dig, and you will eat from vineyards and olive trees you did not plant. When you have eaten your fill in this land, be careful not to forget the LORD, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. (‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭6‬:‭10-12‬ NLT)

Eight years ago we moved here, to North Canton, OH., from Buffalo, NY.  That phase of life while we were living in Buffalo,was a period of difficult days, work schedules, infertility and the death of my Mother.  I don't mean to paint a picture without hope, but it was definitely a trying time, when it was difficult to look up!  But God saw our needs and even our wants and He had mercy on us!

God brought us to this phase that I like to compare to the promised land experience that the Israleites went through. As I got the mail this morning and contemplated my day set aside for writing and being creative, I couldn't help but think if God had not brought us to this place, I would not be able to afford the luxury to be able to plan my day in such a way.  My heart was filled with gratitude that I get to do these things that I love to do and to look forward to celebrating our 19th Anniversary tonight on a date with Steve!

Were it not for God's blessings and goodness in our life, these days would be quite different!  This blog post today though short compared to my others is to encourage you to be faithful.  God's plans for us are beyond what we could plan. The road takes many twists and turns, but be faithful!!  Even in the small things, God sees and He rewards.  Some of those rewards are in this life, but I believe there is so much more to look forward to in eternity!  And if your path at this point is in the Valley of the shadow of death, lean into God.  Give Him your broken heart.  He is the healer and He will give you hope and healing that nothing or no one else could begin to do on this earth!


Simply and Honestly I don't want to forget my God's goodness to me.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, I Don't Deserve His Goodness!  There is nothing in me good enough to earn His love, and yet He loves!

The Same, Yesterday, Today and Forever

Time likes to change things. The rocks that were placed on our property by the previous owners  are starting to chip and crumble.  These are good sized stones.  The harsh winter snow and hot summer sun, have eaten away at the the mineral components that hold it together. I step on the stones and they start to chip and crumble.  Even  after my first manicure, I'm noticing scratches and chips and growth in the nails and it's only been 3 days!

Likewise I returned to my home area to meet up with my cousins. We grew up together.  We went to the same Christian schools, camp meetings same church services.  Then we grew up and life took us all in different directions.  Melissa and Michele, now live in Maryland where we grew up.  Paula lives in Fl. and I live in Ohio.  Our lifestyles range from contractor to housewife, beautician and Pastor's wife. Not necessarily in that order.

As I drove through the areas I grew up in, so many things have changed!  Empty fields are now housing developments.  Some businesses gone belly up and some prosper and grow.  Some old buildings are renovated and some are decaying.  Some places, like the hospital where my Mom took her last breath on this earth has grown so large, I'd not recognize it, if I didn't know any better!  And little Friendship airport now known as BWI is a booming airport with airplanes lined up to land and take off.

Even the church I grew up in has changed.  The faces of the people I knew have either, moved away, attend another church, passed away or no longer attend church period. There are new faces there for the most part.  My cousin- in Law, Ken Clendaniel the Pastor of the church has overseen many changes that have set some people off, because it's not to their liking.  I am not taking sides on this issue.  People have their preferences, and God gave us all different tastes- for good reason, if we were all the same, life would be boring or total chaos depending on whose likes were "in charge".  I do know the Bible says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18

The new faces in the church though do represent new life.  With that I say we need the "old timers" to help the new life to become mature life. I wonder what will happen to the babes in Christ if they are not invested in?  Who will disciple them?  I am being remiss here because I have not mentioned my own Dad as well as Howard and Juanita Thomas who have stuck it out through thick and thin and are still attending Oakwood Wesleyan Church after all these years.  I know they serve and invest in the work at the church and I know they are an example of faithfulness, which is indeed commendable!  My Dad and I have talked and he has advised me in working in the church.  There may be times that we may not agree with everything, but if we are all serving the same God, my Dad advises me to put aside the differences and work alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ!  That advice has served me well!!  I love you Dad!

Ok, so I did not sit down to blog about all of this.  I honestly had no agenda, other than to have some outlet to sift through my thoughts and emotions of going "home" over the weekend.  As for the four of us cousins, we've all changed too.  We've  been through life long enough to learn from either the hard knocks or just hands on experience.  We've all become mothers since we were last together as a foursome.  I pray that we as cousins will continue to seek God, not to get sidetracked by this life.

Monday was Memorial Day, my last day with my family.  Dad and Gloria took me by to the graveside where Mom's empty shell was laid to rest.  This change even after 9 years, is something I'm still not accustomed to. I look at the burial site and realize that this life is short in comparison to eternity.  Simply and honestly the longer I live the more I see this life as a short phase of preparation for eternity.  We have things happen in our lives, those  things that happen are just a small percentage of life, our reactions and choices to those events are the Big things that will place us in eternity.  We can choose to invest the abilities, skills and talents God gives us, or we can bury them and keep them for ourselves or just preserve them.  Either way, those are our choices.  But the difference will play a big part in eternity.  I believe Jesus referred to this in His parable about the 3 servants the master left with  money to invest.  Two of them invested and had more to give their master when He returned.  One buried it and did nothing with it.  The outcome for the investors is more responsibility for their reward because they were faithful with a few things, the master put them in charge of many things.  The one that buried the money and had nothing extra to give the master had that money taken away.

When I stand before the judgement seat of God, I want to hear Him say well done good and faithful servant.  I do not want to hear, "What have you done with the things I gave you?".  Simply and Honestly things change, but may I  remain faithful where God puts me,  faithful with the things God's given me. Regardless of the changes may I emulate my Heavenly Father with whom there is no shadow of turning, Who is faithful through the ages, Who is the same, yesterday, today and forever!

Fill the Void

A conclusion I came to in my teen years and have become a firm believer in is this, inside of every one of us is a God shaped gaping hole that if it's not filled with God a person will seek everything from self worship to drugs, sex, alcohol, thrill seeking, extreme work, or possibly just trying to find a spouse or someone to fill that spot that rightfully belongs solely to God alone.

Satan knows our weaknesses and he will try to get us to exchange God Almighty the great Creator for any number of  things.  If he can sidetrack us, and we choose to seek anything or anyone more than God, than we have chosen a counterfeit that cannot even begin to compare with God!

Let me put it this way, most of my life, I've lived as a follower of Christ.  Mom and Dad brought my brother and I up in the church.  Early on in life I realized my need to be forgiven for the wrong that I'd done in order to have a clear conscience and most importantly a right relationship with my God, my Heavenly Father!  I remember especially at 14 yrs. old falling in love with God and wanting to please Him in how I lived and in the choices I made. There was and still is something that pulled me toward God like an attraction that nothing else could even compare to!

And here's where I've had my own counterfeit experience.  In my life comes something new that feeds my ego, it starts out as little by little, it stokes the desire in me to be accepted by my peers, through this I can see what everyone that I am friends with think about the stupidest things like if I had tacos for supper to measuring my sons growth in a given years time.  If you haven't already guessed, it's that social media thing called Facebook.  Never have I ever been more aware of my desire to seek approval for the things that happen in my life!

These are the things that are a cheap imitation of God's approval in my life!  Or if I look to my
husband to fill that void, or a friendship. These are all good things and even Facebook is an incredible tool, when used with the right motives.  I've had to set boundaries to keep from seeking these things before I seek God.  And to think God, Who made me, knows me more intimately than I even know myself, seeks to have a relationship with me is humbling!  I fall so short of being Holy as He is holy, but in my most earnest and desperate way that I know how, I want to seek Him first and with all my heart!  I think that is what Jesus was getting at in John 4 :23-24 when He was talking to the Samaratin woman at the well. He told her that God is Spirit and that those who worship Him must worship him in Spirit and in truth.  I remember reading this in several translations trying to understand the meaning of these words that Jesus spoke.  It finally clicked when I read it in The Message.

“It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit
in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who
worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.” (‭John‬
‭4‬:‭23-24‬ MSG)

Back to that First Love that I had as a young Christian, my deepest desire was to please God, to seek Him by taking time to read His Love letter to me, the Bible and by talking to Him as I would my closest friend!  God is ALL of that and more!  I'm so glad He drew me to Him and has continued to  draw me to Him! Sometimes taking time to read my Bible and praying feels more like an item on a checklist, but when I'm really seeking God, I put aside the distractions. I set boundaries saying if I can't control my time in the Faebook world and if that's what I'm thinking about when I firstget up in the morning, then I am doing something so far off base it could Damn my soul!  I am letting something besides God to fill that void that ONLY He can fill!

That is why I must catch what I'm doing and redirect my course or as 2 Corinthians 10:5 says,
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Simply and Honestly my verse for the day as I logged into my reading plan for my devotions this morning came up as Psalm 27:4 (NIV).
“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”
If I were to find another definition of how I am to seek God, I think David pretty well describes seeking God Simply and Honestly!  Incidently John 4:23-24 is where I got the title for my blog!
That's my hearts desire from the bottom of my heart to fill that void with a relationship with God!  He's  the only One to fill the void!

‭

God Knows What You Need

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭10-12‬ KJV)

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;).          II Corinthians 10:4  (KJV)

I memorized the above scriptures when I was growing up, in the King James Version.  At the time that was pretty much the  only version of choice.  And these particular passages are fairly cut and dried and easy to understand in the old English version. I honestly struggle reading scripture or anything for that matter, in old English.  I struggle to fully comprehend what it's saying, let alone apply it to my life!

So here's what I get from the passages I shared. 1. That God gives us what we need to fight the enemy of our souls.  The things needed are found in God and in His Word.  2. That when life seems like an uphill struggle and it feels like everything is against you, that in reality we are fighting in a spiritual battle against the devil and his demons. But God gives us the weapons and the power to fight against the dark side and it's not something we can drum up on our own. It comes from Him.

To apply that truth, here's what it means when the rubber meets the road:
One week ago today, early in the morning I recieved one of those phone calls that are forever etched in your memory.  On the other end was my Mother in law, Helen.  She was sobbing and she said that Scott ( Steve's brother) had died in the night! What do you even say when someone you love is so broken hearted they cannot be comforted with words?  All I could think to do was to run to her side
and be with her.  As soon as Michael boarded the bus, I was throwing things together and in my car on my way, to try and be a comfort to her.

It has been a turbulent week.  Being there for Helen.  Changing big plans Steve and I had for getting away, dealing with raw emotions, and in the grieving process, old wounds of my own grief  revisited me. Not to mention trying to function as a single parent while Steve was out of town.

All of this  weighed on me.  Some days I was fine and other days, not so much! I know there is power in prayer and I have felt that power and that peace.  But can I be really honest with you?  It has been a struggle, the uphill kind, if you know what I mean. And yesterday I gave in to the feelings of wanting to escape the grief.  I was so tired, all I wanted to do was sleep and sleep.  I didn't want to see anyone, talk to anyone or deal with anything. I just wanted to sleep! And so I did!  Finally, as I was coming to, I began to feel a tugging on my heart to rise up! Take one foot and put it in front of the other.  To
at least function enough to be able to meet the most basic of needs for my family.  I struggled for a bit
and prayed for God to give me the will and the strength to get up and face the day.

God did answer that prayer.  Little by little, one foot in front of the other, throwing feelings aside, I got up and got things done.  Kitchen cleaned, laundry washed, dried and hung in time for Steve to take with him on his business trip.  It honestly wasn't a stellar day of completing a huge to do list!  The victory was in getting out of the pit and finding a way to give to my family. I could not have done this had God not tugged at my heart and given me the grace to do this small thing.

After we had an early supper, I dropped Steve off at the airport and I ran to a couple of stores to pick up some grocery items we needed.  As I was entering Wal-Mart (yes, I am unashamedly a regular Wal-Mart customer - don't judge me - you get more bang for your buck there).  :). I saw a friend of mine from church, Karen Morrish.  Interestingly enough, Karen and I have a lot in common with our families, our husbands travel, work schedules etc.  Her son (an only- like my Michael) is in college, my son is in middle school, so she and her family have a few years on us. And Karen with her more
mature wisdom reached out to me.   What can I say, I was a bag full of mixed emotions. She said she could see it in my eyes.

I basically told her about my brother in law passing away and she was totally sympathetic and caring, almost as if she were being Gods compassion, reaching out to me! We talked about our sons and I was able to ask her for guidance on things I'm dealing with as a mother of a teenage son whose spreading his wings.  She reassured me that the teaching we are putting into him, will come back.  That gave me hope!  This dear sweet lady comforted me another time when I'd had a miscarriage, God seems to allow our paths to intersect, though unplanned from a human standpoint, but an appointment arranged none the less by an all knowing God, Who cares and showers His love through people with servant hearts, like Karen!  She reassured me that she'd be praying for us as we attend the memorial service this Sat. and that she'd be praying especially for Michael! Simply and honestly God really does know what we need, and not just sometimes!  He is so good. He showers His live in the prayers of people who care, he brings people across our path at just the right time and so much more!

The following passage of Scripture just kind of describes this past year of my life.  Yet through it all, by Gods grace we can walk with our heads held high... Well you'll see what I mean.

"We don’t want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation—I don’t want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God’s deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part.

Now that the worst is over, we’re pleased we can report that we’ve come out of this with conscience and faith intact, and can face the world—and even more importantly, face you with our heads held high. But it wasn’t by any fancy footwork on our part. It was God who kept us focused on him, uncompromised. Don’t try to read between the lines or look for hidden meanings in this letter. We’re writing plain, unembellished truth, hoping that you’ll now see the whole picture as well as you’ve seen some of the details. We want you to be as proud of us as we are of you when we stand together before our Master Jesus.

 (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1‬:‭8-14‬ MSG)

An Offering From the Heart

 Saturday, March 7, 2015, as the Children I teach on Wednesday nights were getting ready to take a competitive quiz known in the Church of the Nazarene as Children's Bible Quizzing, I shared some motivational words with them.  "Failure isn't when you make a mistake.  It's when you give up after you've made a mistake.  So, if you do make a mistake, don't give up!  Don't even think about the mistake, just keep on trying and do your best!  God is with you, you've studied hard to get to this point, now rest in the fact that you are well prepared!"

Four years ago as I was teaching 4-6 yr. olds on Wednesday nights, it felt like the time, energy and effort I'd put into teaching was so behind the scenes.  No one except the kids in my immediate care and two other workers were aware that I loved these children and wanted to, was passionate, to pass onto the next generation God's Word.  It was a hidden work, but I knew it was an eternal investment! (I realize, these were just feelings and feelings are often, not an accurate picture of reality.) from time to time God would bless me with feedback from parents letting me know their child remembered  the things I'd taught.  If you attend Canton First Church of the Nazarene just ask any 8-10 year old that was attending during that time about The Fruit of the Spirit!  We had 9 months of school and there are 9 Fruit of the Spirit so it worked out perfectly!  We had a lot of fun singing our Fruit if the Spirit song and learning about Love, joy, peace. . .

During that time the leaders of our Children's Bible Quizzing had stepped down and somehow my husband and I were approached about leading CBQ.  I turned it down initially.  Steve on the other hand, was like if we don't step in, this ministry will die. For the sake of our son neither of us wanted to see this program come to an end in our church.  For the sake of your own flesh and blood it is amazing the great lengths you will go to as a parent!  I was not teaching my own son on Wed. Nights, but wanted him to be grounded in the Word of God, none the less!  So for the sake of our own next generation, Steve roped me into teaching CBQ  with him on Sunday afternoons!

Now I confess, if what I was doing on Wed nights felt behind the scenes, this was an even greater step behind the scenes.  And I do want to say, the service I do, is my offering to God.  I'm not in it for any recognition, but it is nice to know  from time to time that what you're doing is sinking in!  Steve had either 2 or 3 Blue level quizzers and I had 2 Red level quizzers.  I'm just thankful for those two Red Level quizzers because they were a part of keeping CBQ alive in our church!  Honestly, I let the numbers get to me, only two!  And it was all new to me.  I'd never taken part in anything like this or taught it, so it was all new territory really, for both of us!  Today, looking back, I feel that I didn't give 100% (I'm sad to admit that). The first two years were like that!

But then something happened in the 3rd year. Andee Hanson, took over  as the Children's director at CFNaz.  She was meticulous in doing what was needed to help this ministry blossom.  Things like placing people where they could best serve and countless of details that I as a teacher miss! As she and I talked we compared notes and felt some changes were needed for CBQ.  We changed the time slot to Wed. nights and began a campaigning process to get more children involved.  That Fall we had 9 kids sign up for Quizzing!  That was exciting to go from 2 to 9! We also recruited some more workers and that year we had 3 of us workers and one parent.  All of them were an immediate blessing and a help in leading and sharing responsibilities! Then she was able to get us into a room that was equipped so that we could use a large screen TV that I could hook my laptop up to and incorporate power point! That was a game changer for me as a teacher!  Andee I can't THANK you enough for how you've helped to craft this ministry into what it is today!!

At the time our church was seeking to find a new pastor.  By Jan of 2014 Pastor Chad Current became our Pastor at CFNaz. As a side note, we as a church have been blessed to have a pastor whose heart and passion is to seek the Lord and lead our church through some changes to help us be more effective to reach out of the four walls of the church and answer the call of the Great Commission that Jesus gave! Thank You Pastor Chad for being obedient!!  To my amazement both Chad and his wife Kimberly, were passionate about CBQ. So much so, that their own daughter, Anna, finished up the quizzing year with us, though she competed with her original church that she'd spent the majority of time studying with. (I think that was a wise decision on the part of her parents!) And Kimberly immediately stepped in and offered to help in any way she could! Wow, talk about feeling appreciated! That was HUGE, to have that kind of support!  Thank you Kimberly for being my right hand and a dear friend!!

This past year of Word Warriors - a name change that Andee helped to put in place, has been the best year yet, and is the beginning of something new and wonderful!  Something that had almost died has been revived and new life has come!  On Saturday our Word Warriors  went to  the zone quiz meet, our first quiz meet for the year.  We had 20 children attend and 15 of them will be moving on to the District Quiz meet at the end of March! It's honestly not about the numbers and how many move on ect. It is all about seeing a group of kids and their parents as well as a team of 9 of us leaders join together and teach the next generation that God is a compassionate and gracious God, (loving and kind- sounds an awful lot like the Fruit of the Spirit)! It is all about being faithful and not giving up.  It is about seeing prayers answered and it is about passing on, to the next generation the Word of God which will equip them to face a world that is turning away from God.  It is also about being united as the body of Christ and that unity is something that God can flow through and use beyond our wildest dreams!

Simply and Honestly I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be used for such a time as this! I marvel that He can use someone like me, but if He's willing to use me, then here I am Lord send me. Whether behind the scenes or known to all, what matters most is that God sees and He remembers the things we've given  to Him! He in turn blesses and multiplies our efforts. Pretty amazing what God can do with a cracked vessel! This past year I have been blessed personally with the 8 workers that I believe God handpicked to be here!  Each of them brings their gifts to the table and gives to these precious children and in turn it is being given to God!  One tid bit from this years study of the book of Exodus, when Moses was following God's directions on how to build the wilderness Tabernacle, each person who felt compelled were to give an offering from their heart.  That is how I feel this tremendous group of workers have given to these children and to God.  God is doing great things in the hearts of these children and in our hearts as His servants!  What an honor to be a part of this ministry!

Exodus 25:1-2 "The LORD said to Moses, 'Tell the Israelites to bring me an offering. You are to receive the offering for me from everyone whose heart prompts them to give.'" The commentary offered in the leaders manual has this to say: "The Lord wanted His people to do certain things, but He wanted them to act willingly too.  He welcomes the unique responses of individuals.  Willing obedience forms godly character."

God Is For Us

I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. The LORD himself watches over you! The LORD stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The LORD keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. (‭Psalms‬ ‭121‬:‭1-8‬ NLT)


When I look at the majestic  mountains that God has made, it brings me into a sense of awe.  It's as though I am stepping into a holy sanctuary built by an amazing, all knowing, all powerful, ever present God!  I see it as His work of art, that we humans can't even begin to replicate!

And to think that the God who formed the mountains, cares about you and me!  He cares when we've had a bad day at the office or the laundry has piled up and the washing machine is broken.  He cares when something like cancer targets you or a family  member.  He even cares when you're running late and need to find a parking space!

Find comfort in knowing that God is more than enough to meet your needs.  He doesn't take time off from watching over you and me!  He knows what He's doing!  Trust In Him, because He is worthy!  He is for you, not against you!  Romans 8:31 says, "What then, shall we sayin response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?


"Shoulders"  By: For King and Country

When confusions my companion and despair holds me for ransome
I will feel no fear
I know that You are near


When I'm caught deep in the valley with chaos for my company
I'll find my comfort here
'Cause I know that You are near


Chorus:
My help comes from you
You're right here pulling me through
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders
Your shoulders

My help comes from You
You are my rest, my rescue
I don't have to see to believe that You're lifting me up on Your shoulders
Your shoulders


You mend what once was shattered
And You turn my tears to laughter
Your forgiveness is my fortress
Oh Your mercy is relentless

Chorus:

My help comes from you
You're right here pulling me
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders
Your shoulders
My help comes from You

Don't have to see it to believe it
My help is from You
Don't have to see it 'cause  I know, 'Cause I know it's true



[Chorus]
My help comes from you
You're right here pulling me
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders
Your shoulder

Growing and Improving With Age

Ever since my incidents in the hospital this past summer, I've determined I'm going to go to great efforts to get this body into shape and to stay healthy.  Weather in eating or exercising or in keeping this brain in gear for learning!  One of my favorite quotes says, "Good, better, best!  Never let it rest!  Till your good is better and your better is best!  In that regard, it is my hope that the older I get, (and boy am I feeling it after hitting my mid forty's mark last week!) that I will continue to learn and grow and improve!  Thankfully, I am not the same youthful, selfish person I was when Steve & I first married 19 years ago!  God has been patiently crafting me into His daughter who seeks to let go of self and seek more of Him!

In getting this body into shape physically, it has meant consistent, deliberate exercise and saying no to unhealthy foods- especially my favorite unhealthy food- doughnuts! :) When I get a sandwich out somewhere I skip the fries and the soda.  In fact the last time I had soda, it was really nasty tasting to me, sickeningly sweet!  And horror of horrors, I had a doughnut this past week and all I could taste was the grease!  I guess that's a good thing, because that means I'm getting away from that craving for greasy carbs!  Although I confess I haven't given up on chocolate!  I love chocolate and chocolate loves me!

On a different yet similar topic, God is guiding me to kick the negative and complaining habit!  Again, thankfully, I'm not the negative, criticizing wife I was 19 years ago!  And I've got to put in a plug for Steve, on that one! He's dealt with me year after year with this!  At first it was not a pretty picture! But I know God has been changing this negative seeking heart when left in its deprived nature, into a heart that desires to seek what is good and right in this world!

 One of Steve's love languages is words of affirmation.  One way to find out what communicates love to a person is finding out what bugs a person and then offer the opposite.  For example my husbands desire for words that encourage and build him up were not being filled.  I was great at complaining and letting him know about the things that bugged me and that just drove him up a wall! I was really good at pointing out what was wrong and what I didn't like.  That made for some really great first couple of years of marriage!  By God's grace we made it through some rough waters! God has helped me to seek what is good and to point it out!  To treat Steve, the way I'd want to be treated!  God is so good and patient with me!  Incidentally, words of affirmation is one of my love languages too!  I think the longer we're married the better we've gotten at filling each other's love tank (see Christian Comedian Dennis Swanberg for what the Love Tank is all about!)

Just the other night as Helen,my mother in law, and I were talking, we couldn't help but laugh at some of the Eyore type of comments we've seen of facebook!  There are certain people who consistently post, Oh, I'm so tired... and proceed to post about all their aches, pains, woes and the things that are going wrong.  Now I understand, we all have a bad day from time to time, but please tell me that NOT everyday is a bad day.  If it is, well then I'm afraid you're stuck in the same trap I was in!

II Corinthians 10 :5 says:"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  The second half of that verse is where God had to take me to change me and grow me!  To capture those ugly thoughts that just tear down instead of building up!

Now back to that night with Helen, she started pointing out some negative things in a tongue in cheek type manner!  She had me rolling with laughter!  She ranted on and on about how tired she was, that she had to have surgery on a hernia, that because she'd had an ice cream cone, she didn't have room to eat the sub for supper, that she had to have surgery on Friday the 13th,  that all was doom and gloom.  I wish I could remember all the funny negatives she was jokingly pointing out.  They were hilarious!

Now in fact that very day she did have surgery on a hernia, but before that surgery, we didn't know what was going on inside of her body.  Fearful it could have been something much worse we prayed and asked for prayer on her behalf!  The surgery was to take 2 to 2 1/2 hrs., it ended up taking only 1 hr.! In the recovery room, she was laughing and full of life!  She did not act at all like she'd just come through major surgery!  She did tell me this surgery was her 9th surgery.  She stated that she'd never had a recovery like this one!  She was full of life and alert and joking!  The nurses were laughing with us at her antics!

Simply and honestly, I cannot begin to convey how much it meant to actually, physically see God's hand on her and how He answered some very heartfelt prayers!  God is so good!  If only we throw off the weights and say yes to what is good and right, we can rise above the circumstances that come our way.  When we say yes to God, He gives us strength that is not our own!!

If life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond to it then I really think what happens in this life is a test.  God is our Heavenly Father, he is our teacher.  He wants His goodness to shine through  our lives.  And just like I have to deny myself of my doughnuts and schedule consistent exercise, these things require extreme discipline!  God is way more interested in what will make us more like Him than He is in our comfort!  Ouch!  I know that's not an easy truth to swallow!  My desire is to learn without having to go through the difficulties.  I do want to be tenderhearted, teachable and bendable, so that when I need teaching and growing, God doesn't have to do some drastic thing to get through to me! Also as a final thought, when I'm down, it's so easy to pull others down with me!  Oh, God help me not to be a negative drain on anybody, especially my husband and my son!

 In light of these musings that I've just shared I'd like to finish with this Scripture that really sums it all up!


 Hebrews 12:10-13

For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how.  But God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11  No disci;ine is injoyable while it is happening- it's painful!  But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in the way.  12 So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees.  13 Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.