Disclaimer: I tried to not to give gross details but this account is not for the squeamish nor the faint of heart.
One week ago I encountered something that tested the very fiber of my faith in God. To give a backdrop, it started about a month ago. I was planning for a surgery that I really only wanted a few to know about and to just kind of fly under the radar of anyone knowing I was having surgery. It was a sense of dignity to keep it to a bare minimum of people to know I was having a hysterectomy. I remember my Mom having a hysterectomy when I was about Michael's age and she wasn't afraid or embarrassed to talk about it or ask for prayer. I remember feeling so embarrassed when she'd talk about it that I wanted to crawl under the carpet and hide. I guess now as an adult I still feel that way. After what happened last week though I've decided sometimes humiliation is worth the price if it gives you a group of prayer warriors calling on God on your behalf! I've lost that sense of embarrassment, although I don't talk about it in front of my son or certain groups of people.
Earlier in the year I'd had this fantastic dream to take a group of our Bible Quizzers from our church to see the production of Moses at Sight and Sound theater. I knew we would be studying about Moses and I could just see the teaching material I could use based on such an incredible experience! Andee Hansen our children's director/pastor was totally on board with it and in fact if it weren't for all her organizational skills and planning, this trip would not have been a reality! I've told her numerous times that I owe her BIG time!
The date we picked way back when was Aug.8th. This was way before I knew about my surgery and where I'd be in the recovery process. I had exactly 2 weeks to recover before taking this trip. Others I'd talked to told me they recovered pretty quickly from this robotic type of hysterectomy and I was confident everything would be good. I never really felt 100% but I felt good enough to take the trip to Lancaster, PA.
The trip down was un eventful which in retrospect could have turned out totally different had I had any of the complications I had upon arrival! Note #1 of God's provision! I talked to Jaymie Schwartz one of the Mom's traveling with two of her kids on the trip. I told her my Dad who lived an hour and a half away in Md. was at an earlier showing and that I probably wouldn't see him. She asked why he went to the earlier show and not the one we were going to be at? I didn't really have an answer other than we didn't know all the details when we were planning and I had told my Dad I really wouldn't be able to visit much because I'd be with a group of kids. So he planned to go to the earlier show. God's provision #2.
My husband had been down in Va. on business but made arrangements to drive up with my Dad and meet up with us, see the show and help with the drive home. God's provision #3.
When we arrived at Sight and Sound the parking lot attendants had John Earnhardt, our bus driver, to park the church bus right at the curb of the facility. I mean the parking lot at this place is huge! How 'd our little church bus get the privilege of parking right at the curb? God's provision #4!
We exited the bus, my Dad had waited around (provision #5) to see his grandson and his baby girl. :). Even if it was only for five minutes, we exchanged hugs and I introduced My Dad to our pastor and his wife, Chad and Kimberly Current.
We said our good byes and I had our tickets in hand. Finally, getting to see this long awaited dream become a reality!! Then I felt something that I knew wasn't right. In my most composed self I handed our tickets to Kimberly and told her to give them to Steve and that I needed to use the restroom.
Upon arrival to the restroom, I knew this was serious. Somehow, I had enough frame of mind to call my Dad and let him know I needed to get to an Emergency room. He was still exiting the S&S parking lot. He told me it might take a while because he was in a back up. Later he told me, he decided to hold his arm out the window to motion for incoming traffic to wait and he did a U turn. He said no one contested him, people were gracious and let him make that U turn. Provision #6
I was able to exit the facility and make it to Dad's vehicle with dignity. ( I don't care what you say, I call this provision #7!). While loading dad's vehicle, John was able to let Michael get our stuff out of the bus. Andee was on the scene at that point and she came over to give me a hug and prayed for me. She prayed such a powerful prayer I felt God was there loving me through a friends concern.#8
Steve had his phone set to GPS mode to get us to the closest hospital in Lancaster. Which I will say Siri failed! But he was able to access GPS with google maps and through some round about detouring we made it to Lancaster General Hospial. Upon arriving Steve was able to access a wheelchair to take me in. A dignity saver in front of my son and people in the waiting room.
I confess when we entered LGH, I though this rinky dink hospital will not be able to meet my needs. I was wrong. I did have to sit for maybe 15 min.? At some point a nurse wheeled me into the public restroom to help me. I will not go into detail other than to say, my dress I'd been wearing was way beyond salvageable. Steve said she came running out and declared no one was to go in there till housekeeping got in to clean. I was never so frightened in my life! My BP after that was elevated and the receiving nurse said when there's a lot of blood loss BP can drop, so she said we'll take elevated BP. But while experiencing that blood loss I told the nurse I was afraid for her to leave me that I thought I might pass out. She assured me she would only be gone a min and would bring me some clothes to wear. She kept her word and remained with me, calming me with her kindness and reassurance that they were going to help me. (Provision ? I'm tearing up remembering how kind she was when I was so frightened). I just want to say I have a new respect for doctors and nurses who are God's hands and feet! Again I felt God's love, though this time through a stranger.
When they finally had a triage room opened a nurse named Lindsey wheeled me in. A doctor came in and assessed the situation. He ordered a Catscan. Going in for the Catscan they wheeled my stretcher up to the table and asked me to scoot to the table. I was afraid to move for fear of more blood exiting my body as I was already in a pool of blood. They had to put a board under me and hoist me onto the table for the test. As I waited for the machine to do its thing, I stared at a spot on the ceiling and recalled these words,"tis so sweet to trust in Jesus Just to take Him at His word, just in simple faith relying. ...Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him how I've proved Him ore and ore." I felt God whisper in my ear, you're going to be ok.
After the Catscan, I returned to the triage room. I felt some extreme pain and reached down to figure out what was happening. It was so intense I begged Steve to get the doctor. It felt like an internal organ was exiting my body and I was not about to remain calm! Apparently it was an enormous blood clot. The doctor tried to examine me and he told me they were sending me to Women's and Babies hospital. He reassured me it was an excellent facility, part of LGH and they would take good care of me. At that point Lindsey the nurse came in with morphine and something to settle my stomach through the I.V. Maybe this is a small thing, but I get sick to my stomach at the drop of a hat and I was ever so grateful she didn't just give me morphine. Provision #? Also her concern and compassion was a huge comfort Provision#?!
Before the ambulance arrived I asked Steve to put the song Take Another Step, by Steven Curtis Chapman on continuous play on my iPod. Steve was like you don't need to be taking any steps right now! I explained that I needed it for the mental will to get through all of this. Having an IPod that still worked after using it for most of a 5 1/2 ride was indeed a blessing. I listened to that song and others during transport to Women's and Babies. Upon arrival they wheeled me in on stretcher and that made me nervous. Then as I entered the room and Harriet, the nurse introduced herself, I started to feel hot all over. I told the nurse and she said I was going to be ok, to take deep breaths in through the nose and slowly release through the mouth. I tried but I was getting more panicky by the moment. I told her I felt tingly in my hands and feet. She explained I was hyperventilating. And that I needed to continue the deep breaths. Provision#? So with every ounce of strength that I had in me I dedicated myself to breath! I did not want to pass out! I listened to my SCC music and trusted God and took another step!
One final bleeding episode occurred and I just tried to hold the blood in. The nurse told me I needed to let it go. They would not be able to access my needs if I didn't. In fear and breathing deep I let go. They witnessed what was happening. Now, this hospital saw what had been going on.
Emergency surgery took place some time around 9:30 which was just enough time from when we'd eaten lunch that they did not have to put a tube down my throat. Provision#? My husband told the anesthesiologist I get anxious when coming out of anesthesia and that I get nauseated too. Provision again! I remember the operating room and for the third time I had to scoot to another table I forgot the X-ray at W&B but that was another scoot ordeal if you will. By this time I let go of my fear and was able to scoot onto the operating table.
The next thing I remember a nurse named Sherri walking me through every thing step by step as I was waking up. I felt peace knowing someone was walking me through this! She let me sleep on my side with the most comfortable cushions for support. I hadn't been able to sleep on my side for weeks! Steve said this time coming out of anesthesia I was smiling. I know God had an army of prayer warriors praying on our behalf. I know He answered those prayers!!
The next morning, the doctor on the floor told me my hemoglobin was at 12 & 1/2 which was as good as anyone walking in off the street! No blood transfusion, no explanation other than God touched me!!!
My husband stood by my side through all of this. He was proactive in getting me the medical help I needed. My Dad was able to take Michael home for the night! Steve took the initiative to plan a day of rest in Harrisburg before attempting the trip home. My sister in law provided clothes from her own closet for me to go home in. I could go on and on. When I got home my small group from church has cooked for me, taken me to appointments and my Mother in law, dog sat our Dog named Dusty not to mention the times she came over and cleaned my kitchen or took me to an appointment. The list of good things far outweighs the horrible that happened. Andee was able to get our tickets upgraded to a weekend viewing of Moses in September! Simply & Honestly, God must really love me!!!!
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Remember
Sticky notes are a great way to help me remember when I need to do something! I just stick it right where I'll see it at the appropriate time and ta da! Mission accomplished! I don't know how people ever coped with staying on task and remembering what they needed to do without them! Or another tactic to help me remember is to ask someone else to help me remember to do such and such! One time I asked my friend Amanda to help me remember that I was wearing my seatbelt! It's a long story and you had to have been there! But the point is when verbalizing it, it helps me remember! These are the crazy things I do to help with remembering.
Apparently God thinks it's important for us to remember the things He's done in our lives. Quite often He commanded in the Old Testament not to forget Him or to turn to other gods. I came across such a passage today in Dueteronomy 8:12-18, "For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in, and when your flocks and herds have become very large and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, be careful! Do not become proud at that time and forget the LORD your God, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with its poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry. He gave you water from the rock! He fed you with manna in the wilderness, a food unknown to your ancestors. He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. He did all this so you would never say to yourself, "I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy." Remember the LORD your God. He is the one who gives you the power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath."
I can recall some times in my own life, though few in comparison to many people, where I have felt like I was at the end of my rope. There was nothing else I could do! I felt like giving up and discouragement settled in for a long unwanted stay! But in reflection, or in remembering, God was there! Even though I felt like I was alone, He was still there! The beauty of this all is that because of God's day to day help in my life AKA His mercy, His grace and His faithfulness, I have come out on the other side of those hard times! Though they were not pleasant at the time, those times have drawn me closer to God. And I am a richer person today because of the work that God has done and is doing in my life!
I know I've written about restoration before, but for some reason I keep coming back to this topic. Maybe it's because God wants me to remember! If I take a long look at myself in the mirror - not literally, I can see the things God has done and is doing! Some are small things, but others are huge! Look at all the things God reminded Moses of when he wrote Dueteronomy. God rescued the Israelites from slavery, led them through the wilderness, protected them from snakes and scorpions, in the heat when it was dry He gave them water, when they were hungry God gave them a substance to eat called manna. In other words God cares about us. He wants us to remember that! He wants me to remember how He's taken care of myself and my family in the past and know that He is not going to abandon me now or in the future!
Simply and honestly I am thankful to God that He takes the things that could be seen as obstacles and reasons to give up and transforms them for His purposes. He teaches us, tests us and in all of that testing He removes the things in our lives that detract from His beauty in us.
Some verses to sticky note for me are:
Job 23:10
"But he knows the way I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."
Lamentations 3:19-23
I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Apparently God thinks it's important for us to remember the things He's done in our lives. Quite often He commanded in the Old Testament not to forget Him or to turn to other gods. I came across such a passage today in Dueteronomy 8:12-18, "For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in, and when your flocks and herds have become very large and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, be careful! Do not become proud at that time and forget the LORD your God, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with its poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry. He gave you water from the rock! He fed you with manna in the wilderness, a food unknown to your ancestors. He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. He did all this so you would never say to yourself, "I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy." Remember the LORD your God. He is the one who gives you the power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath."
I can recall some times in my own life, though few in comparison to many people, where I have felt like I was at the end of my rope. There was nothing else I could do! I felt like giving up and discouragement settled in for a long unwanted stay! But in reflection, or in remembering, God was there! Even though I felt like I was alone, He was still there! The beauty of this all is that because of God's day to day help in my life AKA His mercy, His grace and His faithfulness, I have come out on the other side of those hard times! Though they were not pleasant at the time, those times have drawn me closer to God. And I am a richer person today because of the work that God has done and is doing in my life!
I know I've written about restoration before, but for some reason I keep coming back to this topic. Maybe it's because God wants me to remember! If I take a long look at myself in the mirror - not literally, I can see the things God has done and is doing! Some are small things, but others are huge! Look at all the things God reminded Moses of when he wrote Dueteronomy. God rescued the Israelites from slavery, led them through the wilderness, protected them from snakes and scorpions, in the heat when it was dry He gave them water, when they were hungry God gave them a substance to eat called manna. In other words God cares about us. He wants us to remember that! He wants me to remember how He's taken care of myself and my family in the past and know that He is not going to abandon me now or in the future!
Simply and honestly I am thankful to God that He takes the things that could be seen as obstacles and reasons to give up and transforms them for His purposes. He teaches us, tests us and in all of that testing He removes the things in our lives that detract from His beauty in us.
Some verses to sticky note for me are:
Job 23:10
"But he knows the way I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."
Lamentations 3:19-23
I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Friday, June 27, 2014
No Regrets
Well it's summer and I feel I've been taking a summer vacation from this blog thing.
Just throwing some miscellaneous thoughts out there for what they're worth!
Time together as a family and as a couple is precious. Snatch it up every opportunity you get! Live with no regrets. When my Mom was in the hospital and we knew our time with her was limited, we recounted the times we'd had together. Especially those extra special summer trips that we took together as a family. Ok, I'm tearing up. Need to move on. But make the most of your days because it can all change so quickly and unexpectedly.
I just finished reading a book entitled Playing For Keeps. My Cliff notes version: if you want to influence children or teens - be they your own son or daughter or someone else's kids you're ministering to, have fun together! When you take time to get on their level, even at the risk of looking silly or goofy to onlookers, you have a profound opportunity to impact their lives. They are more likely to listen when you want to share whatever truth God is laying on your heart when you take time to become as one of these! Again that's my paraphrase, but in a nut shell what I took away from the book. Also from the book, the action of jumping automatically triggers the playful portion of the brain. So the book recommends doing jumping jacks with kids when you're stalled for what to do. Another interesting fact backed up by research shared in this book is that the opposite of play time or exercise time is not work, it is depression. So in my surmising if you or I start getting the blues we should get up and exercise!
I'm just sitting here taking in God's creation. Feeling blessed beyond what I could ever deserve. I am literally seeing grey skies and water both turn blue! This thought occurs to me. God is an awesome Creator. If you question if there is a God or not, just look at the variety! Not just in landscapes but in each of us as individuals. I just read a friends post that mentioned a moonlight walk on the beach and seeing the night skies light up with all the stars. She mentioned that was Heaven on earth for her. And doesn't that sound spectacular? I do love those things, but even more if you've seen my Facebook page you'd know my Heaven on earth are the Rocky Mountains, especially the ones in Glacier National Park, Montana!! God made us all unique and He made enough things in Creation to whet our appetite for what Heaven will be like someday.
If you're thinking it's all a bunch of foolishness, may I share a recent experience, much to my chagrin? Recently upon driving in an unfamiliar part of Cleveland, I received a speeding ticket. At the time I had no idea I'd been speeding or that I'd been caught speeding. About a month after the event occurred, there with picture and clocked speed was my ticket in the mail! Now when I'd committed the offense I thought little of it. But there it was and I was guilty. Now in their humanness, they charged my husband with the offense because I was driving his vehicle-that's a whole other story. But my point is this: someday, we will be standing before God. If we have not recognized God for who He is in this life and asked Him to forgive us of the wrong things we've done, there will be no argument about your innocence. He will have the evidence there in an undeniable way. Nothing's happened here maybe as punishment for sins committed or maybe it has, but the Bible is very clear that one day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord. For many when they have delayed declaring Jesus as Lord, in this life, it will be too late. Because just as there is a Heaven, there is also an eternal punishment in Hell. I share this as a reminder to live this life with no regrets. Take a moment or however long you need to recognize God for the Creator that He is. He made you and me! He loves us infinitely more than we can fathom! Ask Him to show Himself to you! He will do that! All we have to do. Is believe in Him and ask for forgiveness for the things we've done that are wrong.
I'm loving this summer and the time to reflect! Live each day to the fullest!! No regrets!!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
A Song For Mike
Why do I do what I do? I've contemplated that question today. During the course of the day, there were a couple of Aha moments. During those moments I began to realize the importance of being a Mom and the value of doing what I do. It may be slow and gradual, but God is showing me that the little things we work on in a day do grow into bigger things!
For starters my friend Amanda and I had gotten together for some girl time. :) We ate together, shared current events, encouraged each other and even solved some of the worlds problems! At the end of our visit, she reminded me of the app that shows you how many weeks you have left with your child. It's based on their birth date and graduation. I quickly looked up how many weeks I/we have with Michael and there was a sobering 261 weeks! That was the first Aha moment.
After school, Michael had some down time then we headed out the door to Grandma's house. She was having us over for dinner, but I like to multitask, so while she cooked supper, Michael worked on homework and I mowed her lawn.
On our way to my Mother in law's house, I noticed Michael's attitude needed some adjusting. I did find out that in this last full week of school the teachers piled on the homework and projects. Guess they want to end the year in a bang! He was upset because he was feeling overwhelmed by all the projects due this week. I tried reassuring him that I would help him with it. I advised him on working on what was due first and to take it one step at a time. I pointed out that I would guide him, not do his work for him, just help point him in the right direction. He wanted none of it. He wants to be independent. It's so hard as a Mom to let go!
We got to Mom's house and Michael quickly set up his work station. After mowing, and before supper, I tried to pry some information from him. Just seeing how things were going. This was met with opposition, to which I dug in my heels and decided, I'm the Mom and I set the rules. Both of us on a stubborn streak, neither of us budging. I prayed, "God what do I do here?". That's when I realized more than working on any homework assignment, we needed to work on attitudes. One simple question came to mind. What would Jesus do? I know it was God giving me the answer to my short, yet urgent request. What would Jesus do? I mean he's not Jesus and I'm certainly no Mary the mother of Jesus. But I really wanted both of us to contemplate it. That was Aha moment number two.
I asked Michael, "What would Jesus do?". Still no change in the attitude. I told him I would not comply to his rudely offered request until he figured out the answer to that question (and demonstrated it). The question just hung in the air and I waited in silence as the wheels were turning in his brain. Finally the light began to dawn. He made his request of me in a polite tone of voice and he even said please. :) This time I immediately complied!
After supper, Michael went back to his homework session. One assignment was to find 5 songs that represent who you are. To which I quickly started singing one that's my theme song "cause I got a few dents in my fender, got a couple rips in my jeans." Then we started thinking of songs that would represent Michael. For me the assignment was easy and I could have done it in a flash, but my son is a different bird- takes after his Dad! We came up with some fun songs like Oh Chihuahua! and a couple of silly type songs. But were there any songs of the Christian genre that represent who Michael is? He finally admitted that he likes some of Steven Curtis Chapman's music. To which my heart was doing a happy dance, but I remained calm on the outside. He couldn't think of the title, so he told me some of the words from the song. I quickly gave him the title, Do Everything
Aha moment number 3!Here I didn't think he had a song and he picks the Grand Daddy of them all for meaning and purpose! Michael chose wisely and from a Mother's heart I hope that desire never changes!
So why do I do what I do? To bring glory to God! Whether it's laundry, mowing the lawn,.. well I'll just let SCC give you a better idea. This is the verse that Michael remembered::
Do Everything
. . .
Maybe your that guy with the suit and the tie
Maybe your shirt says your name
You may be hooking up mergers
cooking up burgers
But at the end of the day
Little Stuff
Big Stuff
In between stuff
God sees it all the same
While I may not know you
I bet I know you
wonder sometimes, Does it matter at all?
Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long
As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you
For starters my friend Amanda and I had gotten together for some girl time. :) We ate together, shared current events, encouraged each other and even solved some of the worlds problems! At the end of our visit, she reminded me of the app that shows you how many weeks you have left with your child. It's based on their birth date and graduation. I quickly looked up how many weeks I/we have with Michael and there was a sobering 261 weeks! That was the first Aha moment.
After school, Michael had some down time then we headed out the door to Grandma's house. She was having us over for dinner, but I like to multitask, so while she cooked supper, Michael worked on homework and I mowed her lawn.
On our way to my Mother in law's house, I noticed Michael's attitude needed some adjusting. I did find out that in this last full week of school the teachers piled on the homework and projects. Guess they want to end the year in a bang! He was upset because he was feeling overwhelmed by all the projects due this week. I tried reassuring him that I would help him with it. I advised him on working on what was due first and to take it one step at a time. I pointed out that I would guide him, not do his work for him, just help point him in the right direction. He wanted none of it. He wants to be independent. It's so hard as a Mom to let go!
We got to Mom's house and Michael quickly set up his work station. After mowing, and before supper, I tried to pry some information from him. Just seeing how things were going. This was met with opposition, to which I dug in my heels and decided, I'm the Mom and I set the rules. Both of us on a stubborn streak, neither of us budging. I prayed, "God what do I do here?". That's when I realized more than working on any homework assignment, we needed to work on attitudes. One simple question came to mind. What would Jesus do? I know it was God giving me the answer to my short, yet urgent request. What would Jesus do? I mean he's not Jesus and I'm certainly no Mary the mother of Jesus. But I really wanted both of us to contemplate it. That was Aha moment number two.
I asked Michael, "What would Jesus do?". Still no change in the attitude. I told him I would not comply to his rudely offered request until he figured out the answer to that question (and demonstrated it). The question just hung in the air and I waited in silence as the wheels were turning in his brain. Finally the light began to dawn. He made his request of me in a polite tone of voice and he even said please. :) This time I immediately complied!
After supper, Michael went back to his homework session. One assignment was to find 5 songs that represent who you are. To which I quickly started singing one that's my theme song "cause I got a few dents in my fender, got a couple rips in my jeans." Then we started thinking of songs that would represent Michael. For me the assignment was easy and I could have done it in a flash, but my son is a different bird- takes after his Dad! We came up with some fun songs like Oh Chihuahua! and a couple of silly type songs. But were there any songs of the Christian genre that represent who Michael is? He finally admitted that he likes some of Steven Curtis Chapman's music. To which my heart was doing a happy dance, but I remained calm on the outside. He couldn't think of the title, so he told me some of the words from the song. I quickly gave him the title, Do Everything
Aha moment number 3!Here I didn't think he had a song and he picks the Grand Daddy of them all for meaning and purpose! Michael chose wisely and from a Mother's heart I hope that desire never changes!
So why do I do what I do? To bring glory to God! Whether it's laundry, mowing the lawn,.. well I'll just let SCC give you a better idea. This is the verse that Michael remembered::
Do Everything
. . .
Maybe your that guy with the suit and the tie
Maybe your shirt says your name
You may be hooking up mergers
cooking up burgers
But at the end of the day
Little Stuff
Big Stuff
In between stuff
God sees it all the same
While I may not know you
I bet I know you
wonder sometimes, Does it matter at all?
Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long
As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Small, Everyday Miracles
Little by little God is growing me! It's true! This morning upon waking, my head throbbing, my body weary from a fitful night's sleep and thinking about the task at hand, I just cried out to God for the strength to do it without complaining. He so graciously answered that heartfelt prayer!
As I was driving in the car, I began to reflect on how God gave me the help I needed this morning to just do the necessary things to get my son out the door, care for the dog, get ready and tough it out without any pain med or food till I got through with my blood work!
I also recalled a phrase I came across when I was reading in the Bible taken from Mark 6:51-52 "Then He climbed into the boat, and the wind stopped. They were totally amazed, for they still didn't understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in." The phrase, "...for they still didn't understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves." played over in my head.
Upon thinking of this scripture I witnessed something when we were attending Kenmore Alliance Church up in Tonawanda, NY. The event left me and another onlooker shocked! We as a family were heavily involved in AWANA, the church's children's program that met on Wed. nights. One particular Wed. night, we were having some kind of party in which several of us were asked to bring some kind of snack cakes to pass out to the kids. Well it was one of those nights where several people at the last minute, couldn't make it due to sickness or unforeseen events and so those of us who did show up brought our snack cakes to pass out. But we were short on supplies. There was no time to go to the store. The cakes were placed on the table to serve and the kids came through to grab them. A lady and I looked at the line up of kids and the amount of snack cakes on the table and we were both like, there's no way there will be enough cakes to go around for all these kids! To our amazement every child went through that line and got a snack cake! I seem to recall there were even a couple leftover!
It would be easy to rationalize or explain that away, but I personally witnessed it! There is no doubt in my mind, God performed a small miracle that night! It is so easy to forget the little things God does, answers to prayer,His mercies that are new every morning, help in the night when fighting a headache and in last night's case no way to take any of my normal pain medicine, just rely on God! Now I will say this, my dear friend Joy Walton shared with me some of her herbal oil for sinus issues. I did have that available and some icy hot and so I was able to use those items for my headache. I am incredibly thankful to Joy, because I was living on sinus meds and since I've been using the R.C. oil I've drastically cut back the amount of sinus/allergy meds I was taking!! Again one of those small miracles if you will that God has brought to me!
As I was driving I was also thinking of my friend Amanda Quinn. She had requested prayer because her daughter needed to see a specialist. In the weeks that had passed while waiting for the appointment, she received a call from the hospital that there were some complications with the insurance coverage. She asked the small group I attend to please pray that the insurance coverage would go through. Well, her daughter's appointment is today and as of yesterday, 8 days after she'd requested prayer she got a call and the insurance company did approve the visit with the specialist! Again, some could rationalize or explain this away, but when God takes care of His children, you can't deny it!!!
Simply and Honestly I'm thankful for small, everyday kind of miracles! There's a song that pleas with God, Open the eyes of my heart Lord, Open the Eyes of my heart, I want to see you. I want to see you.... My prayer for myself, is that God will help me to see the significance of the little everyday miracles He does in my life!
As I was driving in the car, I began to reflect on how God gave me the help I needed this morning to just do the necessary things to get my son out the door, care for the dog, get ready and tough it out without any pain med or food till I got through with my blood work!
I also recalled a phrase I came across when I was reading in the Bible taken from Mark 6:51-52 "Then He climbed into the boat, and the wind stopped. They were totally amazed, for they still didn't understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in." The phrase, "...for they still didn't understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves." played over in my head.
Upon thinking of this scripture I witnessed something when we were attending Kenmore Alliance Church up in Tonawanda, NY. The event left me and another onlooker shocked! We as a family were heavily involved in AWANA, the church's children's program that met on Wed. nights. One particular Wed. night, we were having some kind of party in which several of us were asked to bring some kind of snack cakes to pass out to the kids. Well it was one of those nights where several people at the last minute, couldn't make it due to sickness or unforeseen events and so those of us who did show up brought our snack cakes to pass out. But we were short on supplies. There was no time to go to the store. The cakes were placed on the table to serve and the kids came through to grab them. A lady and I looked at the line up of kids and the amount of snack cakes on the table and we were both like, there's no way there will be enough cakes to go around for all these kids! To our amazement every child went through that line and got a snack cake! I seem to recall there were even a couple leftover!
It would be easy to rationalize or explain that away, but I personally witnessed it! There is no doubt in my mind, God performed a small miracle that night! It is so easy to forget the little things God does, answers to prayer,His mercies that are new every morning, help in the night when fighting a headache and in last night's case no way to take any of my normal pain medicine, just rely on God! Now I will say this, my dear friend Joy Walton shared with me some of her herbal oil for sinus issues. I did have that available and some icy hot and so I was able to use those items for my headache. I am incredibly thankful to Joy, because I was living on sinus meds and since I've been using the R.C. oil I've drastically cut back the amount of sinus/allergy meds I was taking!! Again one of those small miracles if you will that God has brought to me!
As I was driving I was also thinking of my friend Amanda Quinn. She had requested prayer because her daughter needed to see a specialist. In the weeks that had passed while waiting for the appointment, she received a call from the hospital that there were some complications with the insurance coverage. She asked the small group I attend to please pray that the insurance coverage would go through. Well, her daughter's appointment is today and as of yesterday, 8 days after she'd requested prayer she got a call and the insurance company did approve the visit with the specialist! Again, some could rationalize or explain this away, but when God takes care of His children, you can't deny it!!!
Simply and Honestly I'm thankful for small, everyday kind of miracles! There's a song that pleas with God, Open the eyes of my heart Lord, Open the Eyes of my heart, I want to see you. I want to see you.... My prayer for myself, is that God will help me to see the significance of the little everyday miracles He does in my life!
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Vacation Reflections
Ok from the title you might be misled, so I will just say it goes much deeper than remembering vacation memories! We were blessed my husband, Steve, my son, Michael and myself to go on a vacation to sunny Florida. If you saw my last blog entitled "Just Beneath the Bitter Snow", you'll know that we had a rough winter here in NE Ohio, as did much of the U.S.! Funny thing was, while in Orlando visiting Walt Disney World, there were a lot of people there from Ohio!
On this fun filled vacation we did go to several of the Disney theme parks and had a blast! We did however squeeze in some time to visit family members both on Steve's side at the beginning and my side at the end of our trip. While visiting with Steve's second cousins we did learn of several family members whose marriages ended in divorce and several lives that were affected by alcohol. It made us sad to hear of homes that were ruined because someone was addicted to alcohol.
That was how we began our trip to sunny Florida. Kind of like a wake up call to be vigilant and to hold on to each other! This June Steve and I will have been married for 18 years! I can't say it's always been chocolates and roses, because it hasn't! We've had our share of differences, but we can both trace a line back to God that has held us together! When you take two opposite people and bring them together to make a whole, there are times I look at my the other half and say, why does he do it that way?! I know there've been a couple times I've driven Steve crazy with how I've said or done something. Mind you, just a few! But then there are those times when I sit back and watch him do things that are entirely not in my area of expertise and I am blown away! Through it all, we can honestly say, if we did not have a God who helped us look beyond ourselves and look to the needs of the other, we would be another marriage statistic that ended in divorce. There are so many things out there to eat away at the foundation of even the best of marriages. It takes a power bigger than myself to say, I forgive. And that's just for the little stuff!
Our time together as a family visiting Disney was so much fun! We rode rides together, unless I was too chicken! But the nice thing about Michael being a teenager is that he is up for riding those crazy, wild roller coasters! I like my feet planted firmly on the ground, thank you very much! We made some fantastic memories that still make us laugh! We did take some time each day to read a devotional together and talk about it and to pray for each other. Those were special times! These are the things that are deposited into our memory banks!
Our time at the parks came to an end much too soon! We headed south to see my cousins and my grandparents down in Hobe Sound, Fl. It was so amazing to see my cousins Charlie and Morgan who've chosen to live for Christ, and raise their children to know and love God. It warmed my heart! Also, Amy and Josh are just great examples of parents who are raising their kids in the same way! What a great thing to share that common thread that we have, the difference that Jesus makes in our families and in our marriages!
A final highlight was the time we got to spend with my grandparents. This was yet another deposit into our memory banks. My son got to visit with his great grand parents! I so love them and am so thankful for their faithful example to 68 years of marriage (Ok it will be 68 in June)! They've done everything together, from being a Pastor, to farming to owning and operating a family diner, to caring for their daughter after she was diagnosed with brain cancer. They have always been hard working, salt of the earth kind of people! Not perfect- but in my mind, pretty close! My memories of them singing in church and their prayers that touched Heaven will be forever etched in my memory!
The funny thing is, is that God doesn't have any grandchildren! We are all either His children, or we are not! I cannot claim to have any closer walk with God because of my heritage anymore than Steve can claim that he is a victim of alcohol. We each must make our choice. Our theme verse in our wedding was Joshua 24:15 "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
Steve has chosen to break the cycle and not to be a victim of alcohol like his Dad was. Steve has chosen to love and serve God! I have chosen to not be a victim of being a 3rd or 4th generation, ho hum Christian. We have chosen to cherish each other come what may! Simply and honestly I am thankful to God that He gives the power to choose what is good and what is right. It's a choice that we must make every day. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD!
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On this fun filled vacation we did go to several of the Disney theme parks and had a blast! We did however squeeze in some time to visit family members both on Steve's side at the beginning and my side at the end of our trip. While visiting with Steve's second cousins we did learn of several family members whose marriages ended in divorce and several lives that were affected by alcohol. It made us sad to hear of homes that were ruined because someone was addicted to alcohol.
That was how we began our trip to sunny Florida. Kind of like a wake up call to be vigilant and to hold on to each other! This June Steve and I will have been married for 18 years! I can't say it's always been chocolates and roses, because it hasn't! We've had our share of differences, but we can both trace a line back to God that has held us together! When you take two opposite people and bring them together to make a whole, there are times I look at my the other half and say, why does he do it that way?! I know there've been a couple times I've driven Steve crazy with how I've said or done something. Mind you, just a few! But then there are those times when I sit back and watch him do things that are entirely not in my area of expertise and I am blown away! Through it all, we can honestly say, if we did not have a God who helped us look beyond ourselves and look to the needs of the other, we would be another marriage statistic that ended in divorce. There are so many things out there to eat away at the foundation of even the best of marriages. It takes a power bigger than myself to say, I forgive. And that's just for the little stuff!
Our time together as a family visiting Disney was so much fun! We rode rides together, unless I was too chicken! But the nice thing about Michael being a teenager is that he is up for riding those crazy, wild roller coasters! I like my feet planted firmly on the ground, thank you very much! We made some fantastic memories that still make us laugh! We did take some time each day to read a devotional together and talk about it and to pray for each other. Those were special times! These are the things that are deposited into our memory banks!
Our time at the parks came to an end much too soon! We headed south to see my cousins and my grandparents down in Hobe Sound, Fl. It was so amazing to see my cousins Charlie and Morgan who've chosen to live for Christ, and raise their children to know and love God. It warmed my heart! Also, Amy and Josh are just great examples of parents who are raising their kids in the same way! What a great thing to share that common thread that we have, the difference that Jesus makes in our families and in our marriages!
A final highlight was the time we got to spend with my grandparents. This was yet another deposit into our memory banks. My son got to visit with his great grand parents! I so love them and am so thankful for their faithful example to 68 years of marriage (Ok it will be 68 in June)! They've done everything together, from being a Pastor, to farming to owning and operating a family diner, to caring for their daughter after she was diagnosed with brain cancer. They have always been hard working, salt of the earth kind of people! Not perfect- but in my mind, pretty close! My memories of them singing in church and their prayers that touched Heaven will be forever etched in my memory!
The funny thing is, is that God doesn't have any grandchildren! We are all either His children, or we are not! I cannot claim to have any closer walk with God because of my heritage anymore than Steve can claim that he is a victim of alcohol. We each must make our choice. Our theme verse in our wedding was Joshua 24:15 "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
Steve has chosen to break the cycle and not to be a victim of alcohol like his Dad was. Steve has chosen to love and serve God! I have chosen to not be a victim of being a 3rd or 4th generation, ho hum Christian. We have chosen to cherish each other come what may! Simply and honestly I am thankful to God that He gives the power to choose what is good and what is right. It's a choice that we must make every day. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD!
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Just Beneath the Bitter Snow
If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then we Ohioans are truly ready for some warmer weather! I've determined in my heart that I am not going to complain about the weather we've been given! Growing up in Md. we'd get a rough winter on a rare occurrence but even then the heavy snows would melt and warmer weather would come back pretty quickly relatively speaking.
But I married a newspaper man and he took me even further south with his job. We lived down south for the first six years of our marriage. That just meant an occasional dusting of snow or some ice. Again the cold would be there briefly and it would warm up to the 40's or even the 50's. Then we moved from our beautiful home in Tn. to Buffalo, NY! So that was kind of a shock! We did live just above the snow belt so when the "south towns" got dumped on, we got significantly less snow! It was frigid in the winter, but being Buffalo, it was expected and you just toughened up and got through it! School cancellations because of snow where a rarity. And don't park out on the street because the snow plows needed to get through!
Now fast forward to our family living in NE Ohio. This year marks our fifth year to experience winter here in Ohio. I've got to say this past winter of Nov2013- March 2014 has been the longest, coldest and snowiest winter of my life! I think because I have determined to not be a complainer I have looked for what could be the positives from all this snow and cold. So the following will be my observations and my lessons I'm learning during this winter of my life.
For starters when snow comes to the south it's usually right around freezing or just a little below. I know this winter just about everywhere has been much harder for everyone. (I just saw a friend posted from Texas they just went from 80 degrees on Saturday to 19 degrees and snow on the ground on Sunday!) So I know this harsh winter is not just here in Ohio! But when the temperatures drop to the teens or single digits the snow does something absolutely stunningly beautiful. There are these diamonds in the snow. It's beautiful and it's harsh at the same time! Out of something so cold and extreme can come something so breathtakingly beautiful! I've tried capturing it in photos and I just can't get it with the capabilities I have anyway. But every time I see that beauty I'm reminded of Heaven! Maybe because my Mom is there and I am sure there are some siblings that Michael has up there too. But in the harshness of this life there is something beautiful to cling to! Heaven! It is way more dear to my heart theses days!
Another thing observed this winter, goes back to last winter. I had trimmed our rose bushes a little too much in the Fall of 2012. When Spring/Summer of 2013 came There was no life in those rose bushes. I had done them in. But rather than dig them up and get rid of them I decided to see if they would come back with some prodding. Two of the three did come back, but it took all summer for them to come back to life! Finally at the tail end of summer, no actually this was late in Oct. my one rose bush got 6 huge buds! I checked on them daily, waiting, hoping in joyful expectation of when those buds would open up and bloom. They never did bloom and I in fear never did trim back those rose bushes this past Fall. When Thanksgiving rolled around those buds were still there and I have a picture of 3 pumpkins by the rose bush with a dusting of snow on the ground. All winter long I've looked out the front window and have seen those huge rose buds covered in snow! There's a song entitled The Rose The last verse of the song is as follows:
When the night has been too lonely
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But I married a newspaper man and he took me even further south with his job. We lived down south for the first six years of our marriage. That just meant an occasional dusting of snow or some ice. Again the cold would be there briefly and it would warm up to the 40's or even the 50's. Then we moved from our beautiful home in Tn. to Buffalo, NY! So that was kind of a shock! We did live just above the snow belt so when the "south towns" got dumped on, we got significantly less snow! It was frigid in the winter, but being Buffalo, it was expected and you just toughened up and got through it! School cancellations because of snow where a rarity. And don't park out on the street because the snow plows needed to get through!
Now fast forward to our family living in NE Ohio. This year marks our fifth year to experience winter here in Ohio. I've got to say this past winter of Nov2013- March 2014 has been the longest, coldest and snowiest winter of my life! I think because I have determined to not be a complainer I have looked for what could be the positives from all this snow and cold. So the following will be my observations and my lessons I'm learning during this winter of my life.
For starters when snow comes to the south it's usually right around freezing or just a little below. I know this winter just about everywhere has been much harder for everyone. (I just saw a friend posted from Texas they just went from 80 degrees on Saturday to 19 degrees and snow on the ground on Sunday!) So I know this harsh winter is not just here in Ohio! But when the temperatures drop to the teens or single digits the snow does something absolutely stunningly beautiful. There are these diamonds in the snow. It's beautiful and it's harsh at the same time! Out of something so cold and extreme can come something so breathtakingly beautiful! I've tried capturing it in photos and I just can't get it with the capabilities I have anyway. But every time I see that beauty I'm reminded of Heaven! Maybe because my Mom is there and I am sure there are some siblings that Michael has up there too. But in the harshness of this life there is something beautiful to cling to! Heaven! It is way more dear to my heart theses days!
Another thing observed this winter, goes back to last winter. I had trimmed our rose bushes a little too much in the Fall of 2012. When Spring/Summer of 2013 came There was no life in those rose bushes. I had done them in. But rather than dig them up and get rid of them I decided to see if they would come back with some prodding. Two of the three did come back, but it took all summer for them to come back to life! Finally at the tail end of summer, no actually this was late in Oct. my one rose bush got 6 huge buds! I checked on them daily, waiting, hoping in joyful expectation of when those buds would open up and bloom. They never did bloom and I in fear never did trim back those rose bushes this past Fall. When Thanksgiving rolled around those buds were still there and I have a picture of 3 pumpkins by the rose bush with a dusting of snow on the ground. All winter long I've looked out the front window and have seen those huge rose buds covered in snow! There's a song entitled The Rose The last verse of the song is as follows:
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong,
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose.
Regeneration is the name of a group my brother and I listened to during the late 70's and early 80's s. They sang a version of The Rose that I still remember to this day, because at the end of that last verse they added "Oh love of God how rich and pure. It shall forever more endure. Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow, lies the seed that with the SON's love in the spring becomes the rose.
Simply and honestly I am so thankful that with the love of Jesus in my life and in yours too, that He makes all things new! I think after this longest, coldest and snowiest of winters of my life that Spring holds a greater promise! Looking for the blooms to blossom and it won't be long now!
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